Landscaping Your Pubic Hair

Most people trim their pubic area these days – whether for hygiene purposes or for sex appeal. But if you are a first timer or you fancy a change in the way you style your intimate locks it is a good idea to get some information on the options available before you jump in. Our sexperts at Sexgear.co.nz are here to help...

While some women are happy to go right ahead and deal with the hair-down-there others are not so comfortable and simply not aware of all of the options available to them. So if your lady garden is a little over-grown and you are not sure how best to tame it or you want to create a little flare down there, here are some tips to help.

Whatever style you choose – heart-shaped, XXX or Hollywood Wax (removal of everything, front to back), Brazilian , leaves a landing strip (a vertical strip, two to three finger-widths in length just above the vulva) or just a basic bikini line trim - there are plenty of options available when it comes to grooming or styling your intimate area – some painful and others pain free, some permanent and others more temporary. All have their benefits and their draw backs. Read about each option before deciding what’s best for you.

Trimming
Probably the most popular and easiest method of removing pubic hair is simply to trim it away. The tools you’ll need for the job are either scissors or an affordable, specially designed personal shaver . While scissors will do the trick an electric trimmer/shaver is the recommended option – it allows you to easily achieve a uniform length of pubic hair without the need to worry about wielding scissors around such a sensitive area. Using a personal shaver couldn’t be easier; simply ensure your pubic area is dry, a trick is to sprinkle baby powder over the area of the skin you wish to trim to absorb any moisture and oils produced by your skin, then start up your personal shaver and complete the job. The draw backs are that you’ll need to repeat the process every two weeks or so, but it’s a quick and pain-free option. Top tips: where the skin is loose, simply pull the skin tight with your other hand as you trim that area and if you are taking off most of your hair, a small mirror can help you see better.

Shaving
The razor is a very popular choice for pubic hair removal, it results in a smooth look and you get to do it in the privacy of your own bathroom! Shaving in the shower also means there is very little to clean up afterwards. However, shaving can cause skin irritations like razor burn, rashes and ingrown hairs. Stubble will grow back quickly and may cause itching as it does. Top tips: choose your shaving cream for this sensitive area wisely, don’t skimp on the razor – you’ll get a better result with a razor that has a pivoting head and multiple blades, trim the area first and soften for ten minutes or so in the shower or bath before shaving and moisturise with an unscented moisturiser afterwards.

Waxing
Waxing is well known as one of the more painful options for hair removal but it will give you a smooth result that lasts up to four weeks. Repeatedly waxing will also reduce the amount of hair growth over time too. You can do it yourself with a home waxing kit, although if you’ve never waxed before a beautician has to be the preferred (but more expensive) option!

Hair Removal Creams
These creams work by dissolving hair so it can be wiped away, pain free. They are affordable, widely available and made by many well-known brands. The effects last longer than trimming or shaving because the hair is removed from further down the shaft. The hair also grows back softer than it does with shaving. The downsides are that these creams can cause allergic reactions so it is important to do a patch test first and wait for a day or two to check your skin doesn’t have a reaction. A word of warning - stick to the timings given on the creams, they are harsh on the skin so it’s not a good idea leave then on for longer than the instructions state. They also have an unpleasant smell that can linger – so groom a day or two before that important date!

Electrolysis
If you are intent on removing your pubic hair permanently then this could be the option for you – electrolysis is the only hair removal option proven to be 100% permanent. You will need a decent pain threshold as well as deep pockets for this hair removal method! It’s expensive but you can rid yourself of unsightly pubic hair forever in one visit to a beauty therapist. Beware that the visit could last for hours (anywhere from 2 to 12 hours), and it won’t be the most comfortable experience you’ve ever had either!

Laser
Laser hair removal is a newer approach to pubic hair removal and less painful than electrolysis. It can be a permanent solution – however that is not guaranteed. This method is quick and relatively painless but it gets expensive as multiple treatments are required. It’s also not effective on light coloured pubic hair so won’t be a viable option for some.

So now you’ve chosen the method for you, go and give it a try – you’ll love the result and so will your partner!

What Makes a Great BJ?

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What’s the difference between an average blowjob and an excellent blowjob?”

Straight Single Guy:

I have had a handful of extraordinary blowjobs in my lifetime. Generally I say something to any talented giver, pointing out how noteworthy her skills are. One lovely woman asked me to explain why I thought it was so good. I thought about it for a minute and I think my answer to her is the same answer to this question:

Enthusiasm. You’ve got to enjoy what you do.

Vigor. You’ve got to do it like you want to finish the job.

Lubrication. You can’t be afraid of a little saliva.

Gay Married Guy:

The thing that really separates the ho-hum BJ from the eyes-rolling-into-the-back-of-my-head one is undoubtedly passion and enthusiasm. Of course, there are many technical aspects that come into play, but even the most experienced, tongue-twisting mouth would be boring if there was no desire behind it. So, if you want to give a guy an excellent blowjob, get into it. There is nothing sexier for me than when the person blowing me is performing enthusiastically and getting turned on while doing so. I understand blowjobs are not everyone’s cup of tea. So it’s time to play-act a little. Find out what your man likes and go for it full tilt booty. Hopefully you’ll get something equally excellent in return. Oh, and just in case somehow someone missed the memo, the cardinal rule of blowjobs is NO TEETH.

Straight Married Guy:

No teeth, and a lot of practice. Problem is, women don’t know how it feels to have your dick sucked, and how it should or shouldn’t be done — and we guys aren’t about to tell them how. We’re far too grateful to be on the receiving end to interrupt with helpful hints. We just lay back, relax, and hope it doesn’t grate too much.

Oral Sex Techniques

The classic legs closed
How it's done: Your partner lies on her back, but keeps her legs together instead of spread.
Advantage: This is a good basic position, especially for women who are shy or nervous about oral sex.
Secret to success: Try long, gentle strokes along the inside of her thighs, from her knees to her pubic hair. This will help stimulate sensation in other areas and get her juices flowing well before you approach her 'action spots'.

Straight on, variation one
How it's done: Your partner lies on her back with her legs over your shoulders.You on your stomach with your face between her legs. Put a pillow under her hips and beneath your chest to reduce the stress on your neck.
Advantage: This position is ideal for women who prefer a strong, upward stroking motion with the more textured top surface of your tongue.
Secret to success: Try using your hands to push gently upward on her abdomen, stretching her skin away from her pubic bone. This stretching action often heightens the sensation created by your tongue strokes.

Straight on, variation two
How it's done: Starting from the same position as in variation 1, have your partner pull one leg upward, so that her thigh rests on or alongside her chest. Use your arm to hold it in position when she starts squirming.
Advantage: In this variation, her vagina will be much more open, facing upward, so your face is in more of a downward position - which should be easier on your neck. This open position is great for women who enjoy very strong, very direct clitoral stimulation.
Secret to success: With gravity in your favour, you'll find that saliva builds in your mouth. Use it. Things can get uncomfortable for her if your tongue starts to dry out.

Loving the prize
How it's done: With your partner on her back, position yourself so that you're lying over her at an angle. Your chest will be resting against her abdomen with your head facing the foot of the bed (your face will be nose-down in her genitalia).
Use one arm to reach around her thigh, and gently part her labia from beneath.
Advantage: In this position you can totally relax the muscles of your neck while you plan your next move. It also allows for more body contact, which may help her feel connected.
Secret to success: Your best stroke will be to use your tongue in a downward direction, tastebud-side up, over her clitoral hood. Women who are more sensitive may prefer this downward stroke. Alternate this with a light upward stroke using the smoother underside of your tongue.

Over your shoulder
How it's done: Get your partner to lie flat on her back and approach her vagina from between her legs. Have her place one leg over your shoulder and leave the other leg flat on the bed, under your shoulder and arm. She should twist her hips slightly, elevating the hip on the side of the raised leg. (You can help by supporting her raised hip with your other arm.)
Advantage: This position is ideal for women who are particularly sensitive along one side of the clitoris.
Secret to success: With one hip raised, she is able to add some movement to aid in your stroking or to help move you to the perfect spot. Encourage her to wriggle a little to help you get it right.

Rear approach
How it's done: Tongue your partner from behind while she's on all fours.
Advantage: Your access is somewhat limited, but she will be very exposed. This approach also allows a strong downward stroke and it's ideal for kissing and sucking her vulva.
Secret to success: For more exposure, have her lower her head onto the bed.

The hovering butterfly
How it's done: Lie on your back with your partner straddling you, facing towards the headboard and bracing herself against the wall.
Advantage: This position is a favourite of many women, and it's a good one to use as your partner nears orgasm. She'll be able to control your speed, pressure, and the angle of her pelvis to allow you access to specific areas. With her partner somewhat hidden beneath her, she can easily drift off into her own world, which may help her climax.
Secret to success: Let her call the shots – don't follow her if she lifts her pelvis off your mouth and don't try to reach for spots she's pulled out of the target zone.

Stand and deliver
How it's done: She stands. You kneel down in front of her. Have her put a leg over one of your shoulders, and help her keep her balance by placing an arm around her opposite thigh to support the small of her back with your hand.
Advantage: This is a great first position to use as you're undressing, or in the shower.
Secret to success: Since her legs are not very open, there's less opportunity for direct clitoral stimulation, so use a hand to gently hold her open - or have her hold herself open for better access.

Chair therapy
How it's done: Have your partner sit on a chair with her legs wide open.
Advantage: This is a good position for either beginning the slow build-up with loose, broad, open strokes, or at the end with stronger suction moves. Your partner is able to easily guide you, and she's able to get a full view of you between her legs, which is a turn-on for many women.
Secret to success: Access. Make sure the chair you use gives you plenty of clearance to move around. Or add an extra kick to proceedings by using a swivel chair where you can direct her movements.

'Generation XXX: How Internet porn became the new sex ed' and is changing teen sex

How much has the increasing prevalence of easy access to hardcore pornography changed the real-life sex practices of actual teenagers?

The September issue of Details Magazine examines the issue, using several recent studies as a jumping off point for its discussion, which includes actor Seth Rogen (star of the mainstream film comedy Zack and Miri Make a Porno), alt-porn pioneer Joanna Angel (who comments on the "porn-readiness" of first-time girls working on sets for her Burning Angel films), and porn legend Jenna Jameson ("While on tour promoting her memoir, Jenna Jameson was reportedly stunned that 13-year-old girls kept telling her she was their role model").

Via Men.Style.com:

The awkward truth, according to one study, is that 90 percent of 8-to-16-year-olds have viewed pornography online. Considering the standard climax to even the most vanilla hard-core scene today, that means there is an entire generation of young people who think sex ends with a money shot to the face. It's hard to pinpoint exactly where the age divide falls, but it's safe to say that the first purebred guinea pig to have grown up never knowing a world without fisting on demand is probably around 22 years old.

The article checks in with "Generation XXX" teenagers who have come to expect their dates have clean-shaven pubic areas, 22 year-old women who have come to see facials (the old porn "money shot" standard) as an empowering act, and even a former State Department official who comments that porn's new cool-cred and increasingly elevated social status has reduced "the already low incentive for making a public issue of it" among politicians. It's an interesting discussion, to be sure, and the Details article closes with mention of another recent report in which 25 percent of British girls between the ages of 15-19 "aspired to become professional lap dancers."

5 Things You Didn't Know About Masturbation

Although men may joke and tease each other about their solo sexual activity, women are typically less forthcoming about their own self-pleasuring. With a very close friend, some may compare notes discretely about the best vibrators or the stress relief going solo can provide.

But women's masturbation is not generally a common topic of conversation among girlfriends. Maybe it should be, say sex therapists. They point out that women's masturbation can have benefits both for health and relationships. Here are five things about masturbation women may not know:

1. "Normal" masturbation in women takes many forms.

Most women, like men, have masturbated at least once in their lives, research suggests. Frequency varies, and there's no "normal" for that. There's no ''normal" cutoff age, either, with the practice continuing into the 80s and beyond.

Women may feel guilty about it, especially if they are in a committed relationship, but there’s no need for guilt, sex therapists say. Sometimes a partner is tired, out of town, or otherwise unavailable. And it doesn't mean a woman needs to go without.

There is no one "method" of masturbation in women that's normal.

Fingers and vibrators are two common methods of women's masturbation. More than half of 2,056 women, aged 18 to 60, used a vibrator either during masturbation or intercourse, says Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, Bloomington, who led the survey.

Other women who masturbate report they use the back of a vibrating toothbrush head, the handle of a hairbrush, or water jets in the bathtub, Joannides says.

Although some experts worry about side effects from vibrator use, such as genital numbness or pain, less than 30% of the women in Herbenick's vibrator survey said they had experienced them.


2. Masturbation can improve your mood -- without the ''obligations'' of partnered sex.

However a woman chooses to masturbate, it can improve her spirits. It can improve a depressed mood. Not clinical depression, but the 'blue funk' days.

With solo sex, there is no distraction, and you can focus on your own experience without making sure someone else is having a good time.

It doesn't mean you don't love your partner, maybe just that you need to think only about yourself sometimes, experts say.

3. Masturbation can improve your sex life with your partner.

Women who masturbate on a regular basis learn what feels good for them. It helps build sexual confidence and it helps you guide the partner when you have a partner.

You can say, for instance: "Please put your hand here," and not be embarrassed.

Women who use a vibrator during masturbation tend to have better sexual functioning with a partner, Herbenick says.

Sex therapists typically recommend masturbation for women who have a difficult time reaching orgasm. It can help them learn about their body and feel less self-conscious.

4. Masturbation can help you relax.

Women are more apt than men to over-analyze a bad day and think: "How could I have done this better?" They are more likely than men, some researchers have found, to replay an argument or bad interaction with people in their head. It all adds up to excess stress.

Researchers call this rumination, and it has been linked in numerous studies to depression.

5. Masturbation can provide pain relief.

Women who masturbate often report that it helps relieve menstrual cramps and to improve the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS), such as irritability and crankiness.

Masturbating to orgasm may help migraines, too. Although orgasm has sometimes been found to trigger a migraine headache, it may also relieve it, according to some research. Scientists speculate that some factor associated with orgasm (by yourself or with a partner) may suppress pain or actually suppress the migraine process.

Sex Toys for Men?????

You may have to fight your boyfriend for that Pocket Rocket now that more and more studies are praising sex toys’ gender-neutral benefits. A new study featured in this month’s issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine reveals that vibrators can greatly improve sexual health. Vibrators have been one method frequently recommended by clinicians treating female patients for sexual dysfunction, but now the same advice is being applied to male patients.

In 2008, data were collected from over 1,000 American men ages 18-60 and found that men engaging in masturbation and partnered sexual activities who had integrated a vibrator into sexual activities during their lives was 44.8%, with 10% having done so in the past month, 14.2% in the past year, and 20.5% more than a year. The really interesting finding? The study showed that males who were currently using vibrators scored higher on four out of five categories of the International Index of Erectile Function, which includes orgasmic function, sexual satisfaction, erectile function and sexual desires. Study results also indicate a significant increase of health-conscious activities in men and women who use vibrators. Men who used vibrators were also more likely to engage in health-conscious behavior (like testicular self-exams). So, ladies—don’t be stingy with Mr. Buzzy. Share the battery-operated love. Share the health.

If you're looking for sex toys, go to Bongo Bill's Adult Playground at www.BongoBillsxxx.com.

10 Female Masturbation Ideas

Whether you only have time for a quick feel-good session with yourself, or whether you have all the time in the world, the following list provides a method for every woman to maximize her benefit from a beautiful masturbation experience. Right now, take a little look-see to find out which one(s) fit your personality and schedule.

Skin to Skin Contact

The Pattie Cake

With your pointer and middle fingers, gently pat your clitoris. Vary the pressure and the speed. Your little man in the boat will stand at attention. Your inner labia and clitoris will feel sticky sweet and warm up. The inside of your vagina will overflow with your love fluid. Directly before you come, push those same two fingers into your sticky sweetness. Rub the natural lubricant from inside of you onto your clitoris, and rub hard until you come.

The Sandwich Cookie

Imagine your first two fingers as the hard cookies that sandwich a creamy filling. Gently grip your clitoris between your first two fingers. Stroke your clitoris with your other hand. Vary the pressure and speed until you come.

The Open-Faced Sandwich

Use the palm of your outstretched hand, gently pat and then push down gently. Continue with this rhythm until you begin to feel hot. When you are almost to the end, just push and let go, push and let go, never letting your hand leave skin contact.

The Pulsing Pelvis

Begin touching yourself with your fingers how you like it the best. Start to softly contract your leg muscles in order for your pelvis to gently pulse in a rhythm reminiscent of lovemaking with a partner. Rock up and down, up and down, until you come.

Take a Dip

In the Pool

Spread your legs as far as you can while positioning yourself in front of one of the jets in your pool or hot tub. Stand far enough away from the jet so it is not uncomfortable for you, then move closer and closer until the stimulation is just the right amount to jet you into orgasm.

With Your Shower Head

Use your handheld shower head to masturbate. Actually take the shower head off of its hook and press it on your clitoris. Rub softly. Rub firmly. Alternate between the two extremes, or find a middle ground. Always synchronize your motions to escalate the masturbation experience.

In Your Bathtub

Get into your dry bathtub and sit directly underneath the faucet. Make sure the faucet is aimed directly at your clitoris. Turn the water on warm and let the flow of water hit your clitoris. Use your elbows to hold up your upper body and stick your hands underneath your butt. Right before your orgasm, turn the water temperature to hot … a comfortable hot … and let yourself come.

Common Toys

Dig the Shovel

You can use whatever object turns you on. Pick out a vibrator or anything you like. Mimicking a gently digging motion, use the toy to play with your clitoris. Slide your toy down your clitoris, across your clitoris, and upward, removing the object entirely from your body. Repeat until you reach orgasm.

It’s Electric

When using an electric toothbrush to stimulate your clitoris, simply use it as if it were a vibrator. Touch softly at first, and then as you get more excited, get into a rhythm of hard, soft, or medium pressure. Go up, down, all around, in little circles. Find the motion that suits you the best.

A Play Station

Use a Metal Gear Solid CD on your Sony Playstation, and grab the vibrating controller. Follow the same instructions for the electric toothbrush and the rest is easy. Find yourself. You’ll figure out what to do.

If you have already tried all of the above masturbation tips for women, try adding your own personalized touch on variations to these techniques. If this still isn’t doing it for you, stay tuned for the next set of tips from Bongo Bill. You can also purchase toys to help you out at Bongo Bill's Adult Playground.

If you follow the previous tips, you too will experience the self-satisfying beauty of climactic joy through masturbation. When you find something new that works for you, you can share your little secret with your partner.