Wednesday, May 21, 2014
27 things Men do in Bed that Women don't Like
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Monday, March 10, 2014
The Pleasures of Giving Oral Sex
Receiving oral sex is great for many reasons which need no explanation, but what about giving oral sex? Can a person find pleasure in performing an act which, on the surface, appears to be so one sided? Yes, of course. But perhaps it is not entirely for the altruistic reasons you suspect. Let me back up to get a running start at this.
You’ve Got A Lot Of Nerve
The head of a woman’s clitoris (just the visible part) is packed with 8000 sensory nerve endings (interestingly, that’s about twice the number in an entire penis) and, when it is stimulated, every one of those nerves sends signals to the brain in unison where they get processed by her Pleasure Center and activate a feedback loop which makes her desire more of the same (I’m not making this up). Blood flow increases to the area to keep the hard working nerve cells supplied with oxygen and energy so they can continue their rapid fire bombardment of her increasingly aroused brain. This goes on until the stimulation becomes overwhelming, areas of the brain in charge of reason and behavioral control flicker off, and voilà… orgasm.
While I am certain I just oversimplified a very complex physiology, it seems to me that the volume of [sensory] neural network traffic sent brainward is directly correlated with a person’s perception of physical pleasure. Like, the more nerve signals terminating in, and electrifying, the brain the greater the reward. In the example above, her nerve packed clitoris would be like an exposed electrical terminal on a heavy gauge cable run straight through her body and grounded in her head. It’s a powerful up-link directly to her Pleasure Center with the potential to light it up.
There are other parts of the body which are highly innervated as well and, interestingly, many are associated with sexual pleasure and/or arousal; lips, tongue, ear lobes, finger tips, nipples, anus, and genitals among others. Each one capable of pleasurable sensation on its own. Combine simultaneous stimulation of two or three and what happens? Greater pleasure. The more sensory stimulation in, the better the ride. Read that last sentence again and let it sink in.
Come To Your Senses
If you are a normal, healthy human you have five senses; touch, taste, smell, hearing, and vision. From the neck down you have only one of these… touch. Above that you have all five! On top of that neck of yours, you carry around a sensory powerhouse capable of processing the world around you with 500% more clarity than the rest of you. There is great variety in the sensory information your face can send to your brain. Can these senses produce pleasure? Of course! You enjoy the taste of many foods, smells that trigger memory or emotion, and lighting or visual cues which can calm or excite. Each floods the brain with stimulation and involving these senses directly in sexual play (getting your face right in there) can elicit feelings of pleasure.
Soak It All In
Additionally, your sinuses and mouth are lined with thin tissue permeable to hormones in your partners sexual juices and pheromones in their excited scent. These go straight to your blood and quickly find receptors capable of putting them to work affecting your state of mind. You are the chemistry of your body and sexual contact facilitates an intermingling capable of orchestrating incredible convergence of bodies and minds. If you’ve ever had really great sex then you are probably familiar with this synergy.
Not A Selfless Act
Personally, I get great pleasure from burying my face between Jane’s legs. Her obvious arousal is a real turn on but I am convinced there is more to it than just that. I taste, I smell, I see, my lips and tongue feel as I trace lines through her folds and kiss her sensitive clit. I drink her in, both figuratively and literally, I get drunk on her lust and satisfaction from her orgasm. It’s a sexual experience I crave like many others, I desire it because it brings me pleasure. It’s not selfless.
You’ve Got A Lot Of Nerve
The head of a woman’s clitoris (just the visible part) is packed with 8000 sensory nerve endings (interestingly, that’s about twice the number in an entire penis) and, when it is stimulated, every one of those nerves sends signals to the brain in unison where they get processed by her Pleasure Center and activate a feedback loop which makes her desire more of the same (I’m not making this up). Blood flow increases to the area to keep the hard working nerve cells supplied with oxygen and energy so they can continue their rapid fire bombardment of her increasingly aroused brain. This goes on until the stimulation becomes overwhelming, areas of the brain in charge of reason and behavioral control flicker off, and voilà… orgasm.
While I am certain I just oversimplified a very complex physiology, it seems to me that the volume of [sensory] neural network traffic sent brainward is directly correlated with a person’s perception of physical pleasure. Like, the more nerve signals terminating in, and electrifying, the brain the greater the reward. In the example above, her nerve packed clitoris would be like an exposed electrical terminal on a heavy gauge cable run straight through her body and grounded in her head. It’s a powerful up-link directly to her Pleasure Center with the potential to light it up.
There are other parts of the body which are highly innervated as well and, interestingly, many are associated with sexual pleasure and/or arousal; lips, tongue, ear lobes, finger tips, nipples, anus, and genitals among others. Each one capable of pleasurable sensation on its own. Combine simultaneous stimulation of two or three and what happens? Greater pleasure. The more sensory stimulation in, the better the ride. Read that last sentence again and let it sink in.
Come To Your Senses
If you are a normal, healthy human you have five senses; touch, taste, smell, hearing, and vision. From the neck down you have only one of these… touch. Above that you have all five! On top of that neck of yours, you carry around a sensory powerhouse capable of processing the world around you with 500% more clarity than the rest of you. There is great variety in the sensory information your face can send to your brain. Can these senses produce pleasure? Of course! You enjoy the taste of many foods, smells that trigger memory or emotion, and lighting or visual cues which can calm or excite. Each floods the brain with stimulation and involving these senses directly in sexual play (getting your face right in there) can elicit feelings of pleasure.
Soak It All In
Additionally, your sinuses and mouth are lined with thin tissue permeable to hormones in your partners sexual juices and pheromones in their excited scent. These go straight to your blood and quickly find receptors capable of putting them to work affecting your state of mind. You are the chemistry of your body and sexual contact facilitates an intermingling capable of orchestrating incredible convergence of bodies and minds. If you’ve ever had really great sex then you are probably familiar with this synergy.
Not A Selfless Act
Personally, I get great pleasure from burying my face between Jane’s legs. Her obvious arousal is a real turn on but I am convinced there is more to it than just that. I taste, I smell, I see, my lips and tongue feel as I trace lines through her folds and kiss her sensitive clit. I drink her in, both figuratively and literally, I get drunk on her lust and satisfaction from her orgasm. It’s a sexual experience I crave like many others, I desire it because it brings me pleasure. It’s not selfless.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Three Modern Sex Myths You Shouldn't Believe
There are a lot of myths and ‘rules’ floating about out there – and an awful lot of the ones relating to sex are directed at women.
Quite frankly, most are false or misleading. Like the one that says....
MYTH 1: You should never sleep with someone from work
Two-thirds of us meet our life partners through friends or at work – why should you be any different?
Take refuge in the fact it’s not even your fault!
New studies show close proximity breeds lust. Repeated exposure to practically any stimulus makes us like it more (the only time it doesn’t hold true is when our initial reaction to something is negative).
When we spend a lot of time with someone, our brain releases attachment hormones, which make us want to hang around pretty much permanently.
This actually isn’t a bad thing.
Couples who meet through work have a much clearer idea of what they’re getting themselves into.
After all, you’ve seen your partner react to all sorts of stressful situations during your average working day.
As for employer’s fears, most are unfounded: what better way to get employees to turn up early, stay late, look fantastic, willingly sign up for all extra curricular activities and generally beam their way through the working day?
And even if the affair ends, most flirtations fizzle out with remarkably unspectacular endings, as opposed to the fury of resignations or ruined relations people worry about.
MYTH 2: You should always tell the truth about your past
Around the time you both start getting gooey about each other, questions start being asked: ‘So… who else have you lived with/been out with/been in love with?’.
If you read the subtitles they clearly say ‘How many have you slept with?’
This is a danger zone for both sexes but particularly for women.
Even if you’ve managed to hook up with the world’s most liberated man, few can resist a knee-jerk reaction to an answer of ten or over, mainly because they haven’t thought it through.
So is it any wonder you found yourself muttering, ‘three’, and are now panicking about being caught out.
Here's why you shouldn’t feel bad about not really having had three.
A typical 30-year-old attractive woman has usually been sexually active since 16, had two long-term monogamous relationships each lasting around four years, clocked up two short-term relationships per year the rest of the time and had the odd casual fling.
That’s around 20 partners, by my estimate, or 25-30 if you’re dealing with a high libido or increased opportunity.
What he's really asking when he asks the ‘How many?’ question is ‘How special am I? Do you behave like this with everyone?’.
If he’s serious about you, he’s actually far more interested in what’s happened to your heart than your parts, so won’t be obsessed with doing the maths.
If he does start doing sums and you are discovered, appeal to his sense of logic.
Confronted with the above breakdown and other facts (like the number of lovers for both men and women is roughly the same these days, although because of the double standard men consistently report three times more) most men will see reason.
MYTH 3: You should never have sex on a first date
For 20somethings, this is an archaic question.
For over 30s, it’s still something that’s hotly contested.
I can list at least four couples without even blinking (let alone thinking) who had sex on the first date and are still happily together five to ten years later.
If you’re old enough, wise enough and have pretty decent people reading skills, who’s to say you can’t sum someone up during an average five hour date, at least enough to know they’re worth taking a risk on.
Sometimes you just know and some first dates can be so good, they backfire if you stop the flow.
Then there’s the pertinent question of what constitutes a first date?
If you’ve been friends for a while and then finally go out, are you on date one or date ten?
I know I’m being slightly contradictory because I do generally advocate waiting as long as possible, but there are always exceptions.
Quite frankly, most are false or misleading. Like the one that says....
MYTH 1: You should never sleep with someone from work
Two-thirds of us meet our life partners through friends or at work – why should you be any different?
Take refuge in the fact it’s not even your fault!
New studies show close proximity breeds lust. Repeated exposure to practically any stimulus makes us like it more (the only time it doesn’t hold true is when our initial reaction to something is negative).
When we spend a lot of time with someone, our brain releases attachment hormones, which make us want to hang around pretty much permanently.
This actually isn’t a bad thing.
Couples who meet through work have a much clearer idea of what they’re getting themselves into.
After all, you’ve seen your partner react to all sorts of stressful situations during your average working day.
As for employer’s fears, most are unfounded: what better way to get employees to turn up early, stay late, look fantastic, willingly sign up for all extra curricular activities and generally beam their way through the working day?
And even if the affair ends, most flirtations fizzle out with remarkably unspectacular endings, as opposed to the fury of resignations or ruined relations people worry about.
MYTH 2: You should always tell the truth about your past
Around the time you both start getting gooey about each other, questions start being asked: ‘So… who else have you lived with/been out with/been in love with?’.
If you read the subtitles they clearly say ‘How many have you slept with?’
This is a danger zone for both sexes but particularly for women.
Even if you’ve managed to hook up with the world’s most liberated man, few can resist a knee-jerk reaction to an answer of ten or over, mainly because they haven’t thought it through.
So is it any wonder you found yourself muttering, ‘three’, and are now panicking about being caught out.
Here's why you shouldn’t feel bad about not really having had three.
A typical 30-year-old attractive woman has usually been sexually active since 16, had two long-term monogamous relationships each lasting around four years, clocked up two short-term relationships per year the rest of the time and had the odd casual fling.
That’s around 20 partners, by my estimate, or 25-30 if you’re dealing with a high libido or increased opportunity.
What he's really asking when he asks the ‘How many?’ question is ‘How special am I? Do you behave like this with everyone?’.
If he’s serious about you, he’s actually far more interested in what’s happened to your heart than your parts, so won’t be obsessed with doing the maths.
If he does start doing sums and you are discovered, appeal to his sense of logic.
Confronted with the above breakdown and other facts (like the number of lovers for both men and women is roughly the same these days, although because of the double standard men consistently report three times more) most men will see reason.
MYTH 3: You should never have sex on a first date
For 20somethings, this is an archaic question.
For over 30s, it’s still something that’s hotly contested.
I can list at least four couples without even blinking (let alone thinking) who had sex on the first date and are still happily together five to ten years later.
If you’re old enough, wise enough and have pretty decent people reading skills, who’s to say you can’t sum someone up during an average five hour date, at least enough to know they’re worth taking a risk on.
Sometimes you just know and some first dates can be so good, they backfire if you stop the flow.
Then there’s the pertinent question of what constitutes a first date?
If you’ve been friends for a while and then finally go out, are you on date one or date ten?
I know I’m being slightly contradictory because I do generally advocate waiting as long as possible, but there are always exceptions.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Sex Will Make You Smarter
Recent research straight from the lab demonstrates that sexual activity in adults may improve mental performance and help produce new neurons in the hippocampus, which is the part of the brain where long-term memories are formed. So much for doing crossword puzzles and sudoku! A separate study found that sex can counteract the kind of chronic stress that screws with the ability to remember things. (The first study was conducted on “middle-aged rats” and the second on mice. I wonder how midlife crises manifest themselves in middle-aged rats?!)
Of course, this may not be enough evidence to convert all those crossword and sudoku addicts to midlife sexual activity, so we thought we’d expand the news into a own nifty five-part list. Here are our Top 5 Reasons Why Sex Makes You Smarter:
1. Sex Helps You Grow New Brain Cells
If we were having more sex, we might be better equipped to explain this to you, but as we said above, in middle-aged rates, sex improves mental performance and long-term memory.
2. Sex Reduces Stress… Which Makes Your Memory Work Better
“Stress is one of the most potent inhibitors of hippocampal neurogenesis,” the scientists say, and we nod seriously and pretend to totally understand this. What we do understand is that sex can help fix this!
3. Sex Releases Endorphins…. Which Makes You Smarter
Endorphins are the “feel good” chemical — it acts as a natural painkiller, lessens anxiety (see #2, above), and helps you sleep better. All of which helps your brain, Einstein. More specifically, endorphins have been found to help calm and focus the brain.
4. Energetic Sex Boosts Circulation and Blood Flow… to the Brain
Energetic sex is a form of exercise, which boosts the blood flow to your brain… which makes it work better. Studies have found that both attention and focus improve for several hours after exercise — so hop on top, Pop!
5. Sex Builds Emotional Intelligence
Sex — or, at least, good sex — requires tuning into another person so completely that you know as much as they do (if not more!) about what turns them on. That’s a kind of focus we could all use more of, whether at home or work.
Of course, this may not be enough evidence to convert all those crossword and sudoku addicts to midlife sexual activity, so we thought we’d expand the news into a own nifty five-part list. Here are our Top 5 Reasons Why Sex Makes You Smarter:
1. Sex Helps You Grow New Brain Cells
If we were having more sex, we might be better equipped to explain this to you, but as we said above, in middle-aged rates, sex improves mental performance and long-term memory.
2. Sex Reduces Stress… Which Makes Your Memory Work Better
“Stress is one of the most potent inhibitors of hippocampal neurogenesis,” the scientists say, and we nod seriously and pretend to totally understand this. What we do understand is that sex can help fix this!
3. Sex Releases Endorphins…. Which Makes You Smarter
Endorphins are the “feel good” chemical — it acts as a natural painkiller, lessens anxiety (see #2, above), and helps you sleep better. All of which helps your brain, Einstein. More specifically, endorphins have been found to help calm and focus the brain.
4. Energetic Sex Boosts Circulation and Blood Flow… to the Brain
Energetic sex is a form of exercise, which boosts the blood flow to your brain… which makes it work better. Studies have found that both attention and focus improve for several hours after exercise — so hop on top, Pop!
5. Sex Builds Emotional Intelligence
Sex — or, at least, good sex — requires tuning into another person so completely that you know as much as they do (if not more!) about what turns them on. That’s a kind of focus we could all use more of, whether at home or work.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)