You may think you know how to masturbate, but you have no idea. Every guy’s method for beating the bishop or choking the chicken will differ just a little bit from everyone else’s, naturally. But, all that’s really required is the right kind of friction in just the right spot. Once a man has committed to a masturbation technique of his own, his form pretty much stays the same for his whole life. And yet, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Every guy should know at least five fun ways to masturbate . Sure, the normal five knuckle shuffle is fun and all, but a little variation is good for everybody. There really can be too much of a good thing so it is best to switch things up occasionally to keep things fresh and exciting.
Here are five fun ways to masturbate to make the most out of your alone time.
1. The Stranger. Quite possibly the most famous masturbation technique of all, The Stranger has earned it’s reputation. The one drawback that many see in masturbation is that it is generally a solo activity. It is always better to have an attractive lady friend help you out. As stated earlier, masturbation is tricking your penis into thinking a vagina is around. The Stranger simply takes that trickery one step further. You sit on the hand you plan on using until it is numb. When you lose sensation in that hand feel free to go to town. It feels like somebody else is taking care of you.
2. The Endless Vagina. The act of masturbating is basically simulating a vagina. The Endless Vagina is simulating a vagina that never ends. Fairly self explanatory. The Endless Vagina is achieved by making a fist with one hand and sliding it down over the penis. When the head of the penis emerges slide the other hand down. Rinse and repeat until desired results are achieved.
3. Hot Meat Sandwich. This one is pretty simple. Basically, your stomach and one of your hands will be the bread and you fill this sandwich with your sausage. Rub your hand against your penis for the friction. See, friction equals heat. These names totally make sense. This sandwich definitely beats those egg salad sandwiches they sell in gas stations, just remember to keep some napkins on hand. This is a Hot Meat Sandwich, not a Sloppy Joe.
4. The Lefty. This is really only The Lefty if you are right-handed, if you are left-handed it is The Righty. If you are ambidextrous then instead of five fun ways to masturbate you get four. The idea behind The Lefty is to masturbate using your non-dominant hand. This simply switches things up from the normal routine for a different feel. Your off hand will produce a different pressure, speed and pulling direction. It also helps to keep your dominant hand from developing the aforementioned calluses, so it is basically a win win scenario.
5. Rosy Palms AKA Sandpaper. While the name Sandpaper may cause a little trepidation, this technique is one of the five fun ways to masturbate. The premise is simple, grip the penis with one hand and rub the head of the penis with the palm of the other hand. It’s really only Sandpaper when the hands used are calloused, so be careful how often you have your personal time.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Things You Should Have for Fun Sex
Massage Table - We don't recall exactly where ours came from, likely Amazon.com. There are some really cheap ones on the market so buyer beware. Ours was probably in the $150 range and was worth every penny!
Lamb skin condoms - For birth control (not STI prevention), these condoms are unmatched. Temperature transfer is key to sensation and these do it just like skin, sex feels nearly identical to going bareback. Find them here or at your local Walgreen's.
Liquid Silk lubricant - Our search for the perfect sex lube stopped at Liquid Silk. It's light, water based, super slick, and does not leave you feeling sticky. It's easy to find here or here.
Red Hot Touch DVD's - Jaiya has a series of well produced and very sexy instructional DVD's in her Red Hot Touch series focused on the sensuality of touch. We have many, because she generously gifted them to us, but are particularly fond of the genital massage editions included in the set.
Gear Essentials Cock Rings - If you follow this blog, you have likely already read about Dick's love for these stainless steel (and now aluminum) cock rings. He has reviewed a couple too. Pick one (or more) up with confidence from here.
Harnesses - We have a few harnesses but Jane's current favorite is her Theo from Spare Parts Hardware. Well made, comfortable, and a solid fit, it gives her great control. And hers is pink... so it makes her feel pretty too. :o)
Eroscillator oscillating massager - An all time favorite which sits on the night stand for easy access. Jane retired every other external vibrator in her collection the day she first tried her Eroscillator. You can find one here.
Sexy Games - It's hard to find good sex games and we have even tried making our own, but there are a few we really like to include Sex Is Fun and Unpredictable, both by GreatSexGames.com.
Sex Related Books - We have a stack of these which include both educational and entertaining reading. A few we like are; Anal Pleasure and Health, X: The Erotic Treasury, and Guide To Getting It On.
Hitachi Magic Wand - A real rumbler which is too powerful for Jane's clit but has won our love for its ability to transfer vibration deep into a body during sex. Dick has also figured out how to strap it to his dick with a masturbation sleeve... that's an experience to behold. Pick one up easily here or here.
Fun Factory Share Double Dildo - A great, soft silicone, double dildo which assures she gets a little something extra when she's giving it to him. It's designed to be worn without a harness but for best results we recommend using one. Check it out here or here.
Lelo Soraya Rabbit Style Vibrator - Excellent quality (like all things from Lelo), high end, attractive, and perfect vibrations with infinite variability. This rabbit style dildo is a real keeper that helps Jane achieve fantastic release. Catch the rabbit here or here.
The Sex Deck - A fun deck of cards with which to explore new positions. Select and share your favorites or deal them out and draw your evening plans at random. Find the fun here.
Sex should be more than stimulating, it should be a fun shared experience... one in which you laugh and explore together. Sometimes, especially in long term relationships, investing a little effort in novelty goes a long way. If you have a special occasion planned or if your everyday encounters need extra spark, do something special and unexpected. That may be a sappy love note, a new book or toy, or test driving a new technique... it's the effort that will win their love.
Friday, January 18, 2013
There is pussy everywhere... at the AVN Expo
Crazy shit happens at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Vegas this time of year. I don’t mean crazy cocaine fueled orgies and rampant sexual debauchery, ok i do mean that, but fans rarely get to see that side of it. On my twitter yesterday I started posting some FAN-centric tips for the AVN’s. I was getting a lot of direct messages and questions seeing that a lot of diehard fans are going or have gone and want to know how to get in on the craziness.
So I figured I shed a little light on this issue, as an indie porn producer of over ten years. I still consider myself a fan of the biz and try to keep my perspective in this industry from that side of the fence. The AVN awards are big biz. Bigger than they really should be in my opinion, of course we need to have an awards show but AVN has really lost its luster in recent years. Attendance is way down (don’t believe the hype) and companies are struggling with piracy and content theft.
I think the powers that be need to realize the fans are the ones that are either buying and or stealing the content so maybe retooling the event to make it more fan engaged may make more sense than creating a bloated insular industry incest fest. I mean respect the people that want to pay for it and give the ones that steal it a reason to respect it so that at least feel a little guilty when stealing it..
So some tips for you the FAN at getting the most out of the madness. • The Expo itself is still your best chance to meet the talent and big name stars. The lines will be long and your time with them brief but if meeting them and getting a kiss on the cheek is your thing, the Expo is the place to do it. • The parties on the other hand are not the place to meet them. Trust me they are promoted as such “100’s of stars in attendance” and all that. Now I ain’t saying they won’t be there, but odds are they will be in VIP and you will not get much more of a passing glimpse. To be expected right? I mean thats what “celebrity parties” are like everywhere.
But worth noting as there is always a big push for the fans to go to these. Save your cash, hit the clubs you want and enjoy Vegas. • If you are hell bent on going to these parties and maybe sharing a drink with your favorite adult star. Contact one of the local Club Promoters and Nightlife consultants. I don’t usually endorse this approach, but in this case spending the money may get you to your goal a lot easier then hoping to bump into them at the bar. • Now if you want to “bump” into them your best chance is “the Circle Bar”.
Its the second year at the Hard Rock so I am not sure if the industry as a whole has decided on the new “Circle Bar” but the old one, and hence the name, was the actual circle bar at the Venetian. Your odds at meeting tons of industry insiders and talent are far great when watering up at the designated unofficial watering hole. Ok, so lets say you do meet the talent, I will share some tips on how best to behave in another post. I will leave you with this pic though as a teaser… act like you have seen it before for crying out loud.
So I figured I shed a little light on this issue, as an indie porn producer of over ten years. I still consider myself a fan of the biz and try to keep my perspective in this industry from that side of the fence. The AVN awards are big biz. Bigger than they really should be in my opinion, of course we need to have an awards show but AVN has really lost its luster in recent years. Attendance is way down (don’t believe the hype) and companies are struggling with piracy and content theft.
I think the powers that be need to realize the fans are the ones that are either buying and or stealing the content so maybe retooling the event to make it more fan engaged may make more sense than creating a bloated insular industry incest fest. I mean respect the people that want to pay for it and give the ones that steal it a reason to respect it so that at least feel a little guilty when stealing it..
So some tips for you the FAN at getting the most out of the madness. • The Expo itself is still your best chance to meet the talent and big name stars. The lines will be long and your time with them brief but if meeting them and getting a kiss on the cheek is your thing, the Expo is the place to do it. • The parties on the other hand are not the place to meet them. Trust me they are promoted as such “100’s of stars in attendance” and all that. Now I ain’t saying they won’t be there, but odds are they will be in VIP and you will not get much more of a passing glimpse. To be expected right? I mean thats what “celebrity parties” are like everywhere.
But worth noting as there is always a big push for the fans to go to these. Save your cash, hit the clubs you want and enjoy Vegas. • If you are hell bent on going to these parties and maybe sharing a drink with your favorite adult star. Contact one of the local Club Promoters and Nightlife consultants. I don’t usually endorse this approach, but in this case spending the money may get you to your goal a lot easier then hoping to bump into them at the bar. • Now if you want to “bump” into them your best chance is “the Circle Bar”.
Its the second year at the Hard Rock so I am not sure if the industry as a whole has decided on the new “Circle Bar” but the old one, and hence the name, was the actual circle bar at the Venetian. Your odds at meeting tons of industry insiders and talent are far great when watering up at the designated unofficial watering hole. Ok, so lets say you do meet the talent, I will share some tips on how best to behave in another post. I will leave you with this pic though as a teaser… act like you have seen it before for crying out loud.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Men Suck at Eating Pussy
Men suck at eating pussy. Not because they don’t like it but because it’s really fucking hard. You have to learn it. Giving good head is the key to just about everything in life (including getting good head later on), so it’s time we broke it down. Like this.
The secret to giving good head is to read the signs. You could be the best sexual mechanic in the world, but if you can’t read the emotional road signs, you’re going to end up wandering around in a desolate labial wasteland until, eventually, you drop from exhaustion, hot tears of confusion streaming down your face.
Think of eating the puss as your way of saying, “although I am about to rock your insides with 3 000 lbs. of explosives, here’s a little intimate treat session to show you how I really feel.” Instead of screaming “OH MY GOD!!” like her baby has been trapped under a car (which is what fucking should do), cunnilingus elicits a more splendiferous “ooohmygodohmygod-ohmygod.” Kind of like being massaged with exotic fruits by a muscular Arab oil sheik. A good mange (that’s French for “eat,” you brutes) is like a thousand years of Saturdays or one of those Flake adverts. Break it down!
BE DOWN Don’t go down unless you’re down. Unlike fellatio, cunnilingus can never be done as a favor. Doing it when you don’t want to will only bring on the dry heaves. Eat like a pig at the trough and a lot of stupid mistakes get forgiven.
DON’T SAY HI TO DRY A dry pussy is an unhappy pussy. If your fingers graze a dry bush, go back to the kissing and hugging for awhile. Just make sure you actually dip your finger between the lips. Sometimes moisture gets trapped between the labia and a little fingerial coaxing is all that’s needed to get the honey dripping. Once you’re sure the beaver is wet, give it a few light, teasing strokes with your finger. There’s nothing worse than rushing into this, so make sure she’s really begging for it before you get under the covers.
Extra tip: Be like Prince and bring up a wet finger that both of you can share like a 1950s milkshake with two straws. Important: Don’t play your trump card too soon by putting your fingers all the way inside. This can detract from the upcoming penetration and kill the tease factor. Try to remember that 78% of a woman’s pleasure is about yearning. Poking it in too soon is sure to put out the fire.
SUBMARINE MISSION FOR YOU, BABY Once she’s lathered up, it’s time to go down. Get your fingers out of there and don’t touch anything for a bit. Let your lap do a bit of grinding and get some last-minute necking in like you’re going away on vacation. Though it’s very tempting on your way down to pull the blankets over your head like the little mole-man that you are, this is a very bad idea. It gets super hot down there and whipping the duvet off your head and gasping for air ten seconds before she comes is pretty much going to kill the mood. Start by kissing her boobs and stomach and slowly working your way down. Don’t get carried away with those stupid tits, though. That’s something you should have taken care of before the pants even came off. Right now it’s all about the stomach and inner thighs. A little bit of gentle biting is good, but a sure winner is to start at the knee and move towards the muff in a slow, shark-like swoop. Nibble your way right up to the edge of her cunt, then skip across it and head for the other knee. Repeat. Doing this a few times will get her really hot and save you a lot of pussy-eating time in the long run. When you’re just about ready to do the deed, start practicing on that weird crevice next to the lips. Don’t spend too long there or she might start to think that you think that’s the actual cunt. By now she should be dying for you to make your move. If you’re doing it right, she’ll be moaning and trying to force your head between her legs. Stretch this phase out until she looks like she’s been holding her breath for three days.
Extra trick: Hover over the bush for about five seconds before the first lick. If you wait longer than that, she might think you’re having second thoughts because it smells bad. Of course, we all knows that motherfucker smells sweeter than a bowl of steamin’ crawdaddies. Important: Never bite the cunt in any way whatsoever. If this needs more explaining you should probably just stick to jerking off.
PARTING THE RED SEAS Isolate your playing field. Pubic hairs are to eating pussy what cavities are to dental hygiene. You’re never going to be able to identify all the parts if she looks like that PIL album That What is Not. One hot trick is to get her to spread her lips apart so her pussy is all set up for you like a great big buffet.
THE GRAND ENTRANCE Do your first lick super slow. It’s good to groan and moan too. It shows you’re digging it while sending microscopic audiophonic vibrations right up her snapper. Start just above the anus and take it all the way to the fur. Do about a dozen of these “St. Bernard licks” before moving on (take it really slow, like four seconds per lick). This is a good time to figure out what kind of clit she has. If it’s real sensitive she’ll probably convulse as you pass over it and that means you’re probably in for an easy ride. If there’s no reaction when you graze over her clit, she probably has one of those nerveless little pea clits and you’re in for a thirty-minute session of tongue-tendinitis.
ROCK THE BOAT Eating pussy is so gentle it can make you feel like a bit of a fag. If you’re getting tired of being ballerina boy, take it out on the clit. Figure out how much abuse it can take without making her uncomfortable and show the little bastard who’s boss. After all, Mr. Elusive is precisely what makes muff diving so difficult. He’s surrounded by labia and, even after you find him, all the pressure can pop him over to the side. All of a sudden you’re giving the pee hole the seeing to of its life. Think of the clit like a tumor in a pile of ear lobes. When you push down on the area he’s the only one that can’t be squished. Once one of your tongue troopers finds him, call for reinforcements. Use your lips to get hers out of the way and focus all your attention into getting him alone. Once you find him, give him a bit of a hard time for trying to hide from you. Frisk him and give him a couple of whacks across the head. More on this punk and his bad attitude later. Extra important tip: The best way to stimulate the clit is to run your entire tongue over it after you isolate it from the lips. The man in the boat should feel the texture of the entire tongue pushing down on his body and his boat.
IDENTIFYING THE CLIT TYPE After the slow licks it’s time to get this party started. There are essentially two types of clitori. Ones that enjoy a serious going over and ones that don’t. The latter suck about as much as a one-inch penis and you should dump her right away.
Extra tip: Clits come in all shapes, sizes and sensitivities, but that doesn’t really tell you much. All of them want to be treated slow and soft at the beginning but the only way to tell if you can go fast at the end is by reading her reactions. This is impossible to teach but just do the best you can. All we can tell you is convulsing means take it ease and “Oh my God” means bring it on.
CLITS THAT NEED A SERIOUS GOING OVER These are the most fun because you can be creative. Pretend your tongue is the bad cop and the clit is the guy who killed your partner. Separate him from his buddies (the lips) and suck him right up into your mouth. Now he’s on your turf. Keep him erect by creating an air-tight vacuum chamber in your mouth. Slap the little bugger upside the head with one big tongue bonk. He’s not going to tell you shit because he’s a clit and he has no idea what you’re talking about, but kick his ass anyway. After a few teasers and swirling circles, rat-a-tat-tat him senseless like a boxer whacking a speed bag. If she starts freaking out like it’s too much, ease up on the interrogation and go back to the St. Bernard licks. The vacuum is a great way to bring her to orgasm, but it’s a bit much sometimes, so mix things up with some circles around the clit and some tongue fucking. As you’re closing in for the kill, go back to the vacuum and give the suspect a relentless head smacking. Up-and-downies are usually the most effective, but your tongue will get less tired if you throw in a few side-to-sides. When you feel the inner thighs start to shake, this is it. Be repetitive. Do NOT be creative. You’re almost home and this is not the time to start changing tactics.
Extra tip: To keep the rhythm going, try repeating a chant in your head that goes with the movement of your tongue like a Mic Mac Indian (hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya). Any inconsistent action may throw her off, killing the mood or at least setting you back a few minutes, which is bad for morale. Important: Keep going several seconds after her orgasm. Remember, it isn’t over until the hands come down from above and lay you off. If she’s multi-orgasmic you’ll have to keep going until you’ve done the whole routine another four or five times. If you’re not sure what to do, just keep giving her shit until the magic hands come down to pull you off.
CLITS THAT DON’T Some clits don’t want to be singled out and battered around. These are the boring ones that need to be treated with gentle care. Just do casual St. Bernard licks until she cums, pure and simple. If you’re getting bored try going in some different directions for a while. A good way to keep it random is to spell out different letters of the alphabet with the tip of your tongue. You could be looking at half an hour here pal, and that can be problematic. If you go for that long and she doesn’t cum, you’re going to be in a foul mood, so if it’s too much work, move on. On the bright side, going for thirty minutes is something few people have the patience for, so sticking it out will lead to some payback when period week comes around.
THE CONCLUSION Once you’re done (totally finished) she’s going to want you out of there pronto because the whole area is sensitive. Instead of leaving, stick out your tongue and lay it down on her like a thick, soggy carpet. Make sure you don’t move it or anything because that can actually hurt her. Just let it sit there like a dead manta ray for about thirty seconds. Then come up and wipe your face like a pirate. You now have a good minute to get the condom on and take her from the quarters of Prince Muhammad Muhammad Saddat to the cockpit of an F-15.
The secret to giving good head is to read the signs. You could be the best sexual mechanic in the world, but if you can’t read the emotional road signs, you’re going to end up wandering around in a desolate labial wasteland until, eventually, you drop from exhaustion, hot tears of confusion streaming down your face.
Think of eating the puss as your way of saying, “although I am about to rock your insides with 3 000 lbs. of explosives, here’s a little intimate treat session to show you how I really feel.” Instead of screaming “OH MY GOD!!” like her baby has been trapped under a car (which is what fucking should do), cunnilingus elicits a more splendiferous “ooohmygodohmygod-ohmygod.” Kind of like being massaged with exotic fruits by a muscular Arab oil sheik. A good mange (that’s French for “eat,” you brutes) is like a thousand years of Saturdays or one of those Flake adverts. Break it down!
BE DOWN Don’t go down unless you’re down. Unlike fellatio, cunnilingus can never be done as a favor. Doing it when you don’t want to will only bring on the dry heaves. Eat like a pig at the trough and a lot of stupid mistakes get forgiven.
DON’T SAY HI TO DRY A dry pussy is an unhappy pussy. If your fingers graze a dry bush, go back to the kissing and hugging for awhile. Just make sure you actually dip your finger between the lips. Sometimes moisture gets trapped between the labia and a little fingerial coaxing is all that’s needed to get the honey dripping. Once you’re sure the beaver is wet, give it a few light, teasing strokes with your finger. There’s nothing worse than rushing into this, so make sure she’s really begging for it before you get under the covers.
Extra tip: Be like Prince and bring up a wet finger that both of you can share like a 1950s milkshake with two straws. Important: Don’t play your trump card too soon by putting your fingers all the way inside. This can detract from the upcoming penetration and kill the tease factor. Try to remember that 78% of a woman’s pleasure is about yearning. Poking it in too soon is sure to put out the fire.
SUBMARINE MISSION FOR YOU, BABY Once she’s lathered up, it’s time to go down. Get your fingers out of there and don’t touch anything for a bit. Let your lap do a bit of grinding and get some last-minute necking in like you’re going away on vacation. Though it’s very tempting on your way down to pull the blankets over your head like the little mole-man that you are, this is a very bad idea. It gets super hot down there and whipping the duvet off your head and gasping for air ten seconds before she comes is pretty much going to kill the mood. Start by kissing her boobs and stomach and slowly working your way down. Don’t get carried away with those stupid tits, though. That’s something you should have taken care of before the pants even came off. Right now it’s all about the stomach and inner thighs. A little bit of gentle biting is good, but a sure winner is to start at the knee and move towards the muff in a slow, shark-like swoop. Nibble your way right up to the edge of her cunt, then skip across it and head for the other knee. Repeat. Doing this a few times will get her really hot and save you a lot of pussy-eating time in the long run. When you’re just about ready to do the deed, start practicing on that weird crevice next to the lips. Don’t spend too long there or she might start to think that you think that’s the actual cunt. By now she should be dying for you to make your move. If you’re doing it right, she’ll be moaning and trying to force your head between her legs. Stretch this phase out until she looks like she’s been holding her breath for three days.
Extra trick: Hover over the bush for about five seconds before the first lick. If you wait longer than that, she might think you’re having second thoughts because it smells bad. Of course, we all knows that motherfucker smells sweeter than a bowl of steamin’ crawdaddies. Important: Never bite the cunt in any way whatsoever. If this needs more explaining you should probably just stick to jerking off.
PARTING THE RED SEAS Isolate your playing field. Pubic hairs are to eating pussy what cavities are to dental hygiene. You’re never going to be able to identify all the parts if she looks like that PIL album That What is Not. One hot trick is to get her to spread her lips apart so her pussy is all set up for you like a great big buffet.
THE GRAND ENTRANCE Do your first lick super slow. It’s good to groan and moan too. It shows you’re digging it while sending microscopic audiophonic vibrations right up her snapper. Start just above the anus and take it all the way to the fur. Do about a dozen of these “St. Bernard licks” before moving on (take it really slow, like four seconds per lick). This is a good time to figure out what kind of clit she has. If it’s real sensitive she’ll probably convulse as you pass over it and that means you’re probably in for an easy ride. If there’s no reaction when you graze over her clit, she probably has one of those nerveless little pea clits and you’re in for a thirty-minute session of tongue-tendinitis.
ROCK THE BOAT Eating pussy is so gentle it can make you feel like a bit of a fag. If you’re getting tired of being ballerina boy, take it out on the clit. Figure out how much abuse it can take without making her uncomfortable and show the little bastard who’s boss. After all, Mr. Elusive is precisely what makes muff diving so difficult. He’s surrounded by labia and, even after you find him, all the pressure can pop him over to the side. All of a sudden you’re giving the pee hole the seeing to of its life. Think of the clit like a tumor in a pile of ear lobes. When you push down on the area he’s the only one that can’t be squished. Once one of your tongue troopers finds him, call for reinforcements. Use your lips to get hers out of the way and focus all your attention into getting him alone. Once you find him, give him a bit of a hard time for trying to hide from you. Frisk him and give him a couple of whacks across the head. More on this punk and his bad attitude later. Extra important tip: The best way to stimulate the clit is to run your entire tongue over it after you isolate it from the lips. The man in the boat should feel the texture of the entire tongue pushing down on his body and his boat.
IDENTIFYING THE CLIT TYPE After the slow licks it’s time to get this party started. There are essentially two types of clitori. Ones that enjoy a serious going over and ones that don’t. The latter suck about as much as a one-inch penis and you should dump her right away.
Extra tip: Clits come in all shapes, sizes and sensitivities, but that doesn’t really tell you much. All of them want to be treated slow and soft at the beginning but the only way to tell if you can go fast at the end is by reading her reactions. This is impossible to teach but just do the best you can. All we can tell you is convulsing means take it ease and “Oh my God” means bring it on.
CLITS THAT NEED A SERIOUS GOING OVER These are the most fun because you can be creative. Pretend your tongue is the bad cop and the clit is the guy who killed your partner. Separate him from his buddies (the lips) and suck him right up into your mouth. Now he’s on your turf. Keep him erect by creating an air-tight vacuum chamber in your mouth. Slap the little bugger upside the head with one big tongue bonk. He’s not going to tell you shit because he’s a clit and he has no idea what you’re talking about, but kick his ass anyway. After a few teasers and swirling circles, rat-a-tat-tat him senseless like a boxer whacking a speed bag. If she starts freaking out like it’s too much, ease up on the interrogation and go back to the St. Bernard licks. The vacuum is a great way to bring her to orgasm, but it’s a bit much sometimes, so mix things up with some circles around the clit and some tongue fucking. As you’re closing in for the kill, go back to the vacuum and give the suspect a relentless head smacking. Up-and-downies are usually the most effective, but your tongue will get less tired if you throw in a few side-to-sides. When you feel the inner thighs start to shake, this is it. Be repetitive. Do NOT be creative. You’re almost home and this is not the time to start changing tactics.
Extra tip: To keep the rhythm going, try repeating a chant in your head that goes with the movement of your tongue like a Mic Mac Indian (hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya). Any inconsistent action may throw her off, killing the mood or at least setting you back a few minutes, which is bad for morale. Important: Keep going several seconds after her orgasm. Remember, it isn’t over until the hands come down from above and lay you off. If she’s multi-orgasmic you’ll have to keep going until you’ve done the whole routine another four or five times. If you’re not sure what to do, just keep giving her shit until the magic hands come down to pull you off.
CLITS THAT DON’T Some clits don’t want to be singled out and battered around. These are the boring ones that need to be treated with gentle care. Just do casual St. Bernard licks until she cums, pure and simple. If you’re getting bored try going in some different directions for a while. A good way to keep it random is to spell out different letters of the alphabet with the tip of your tongue. You could be looking at half an hour here pal, and that can be problematic. If you go for that long and she doesn’t cum, you’re going to be in a foul mood, so if it’s too much work, move on. On the bright side, going for thirty minutes is something few people have the patience for, so sticking it out will lead to some payback when period week comes around.
THE CONCLUSION Once you’re done (totally finished) she’s going to want you out of there pronto because the whole area is sensitive. Instead of leaving, stick out your tongue and lay it down on her like a thick, soggy carpet. Make sure you don’t move it or anything because that can actually hurt her. Just let it sit there like a dead manta ray for about thirty seconds. Then come up and wipe your face like a pirate. You now have a good minute to get the condom on and take her from the quarters of Prince Muhammad Muhammad Saddat to the cockpit of an F-15.
Friday, January 4, 2013
4 Must-try Sex Positions
Making even subtle changes to your current 'go-to' list can mean the difference between a sex life that's fine and one that's on fire When it comes to sex positions, after a while it's only natural to fall back on your old favorites. And there's nothing really wrong with that, except that, well, it's kind of dull. So mix things up! Experiment! Surprise your guy with something unexpected!
Digging Deep sex position We're most familiar with man-on-top positions. They're great for gazing lustily into each other's eyes. And as an added bonus, they're terrific for deep penetration. For fans of deep, intense penetration and enthusiastic thrusting, you can't beat this position. With this variation, the top half of your body can't move much, but you can make up for it by moving your pelvis both up and down and side to side. First, lie back on the bed with your torso and bottom on the bed and your legs resting on the floor. When he penetrates, you bend your knees back toward your stomach while he supports himself on his hands and thrusts forward. It's best for him to keep one of his legs on the floor for support and the other on the bed for balance. If it still doesn't feel like he's penetrated deeply enough - you greedy girl - pull your knees even further back and rest your calves on his shoulders, or, heck, show off by demonstrating just how handy that Pilates class really was by crossing your ankles behind his neck. Add extra frisson by holding your own hands above your head to give the illusion you're tied up. Better still, get him to actually do it!
The Sex Squat sex positionn Urgent, animal and aggressive, rear-entry positions are used by most couples when they're both massively turned on. He can thrust more powerfully here than in any other position, and while some women flinch at the thought (Ouch! You just hit my cervix!), most are huge fans. Because you can't see each other, it's great for fantasising (being unfaithful is obviously much better in your head than actually in your bed). And although it looks energetic, you can respond as little or as much as you like. Up the lust level by doing it in front of a mirror, or vary it by alternating between leaning forward on your forearms and sitting up straight, leaning back and letting him kiss your neck. For my new twist on that old favourite, you'll need a chair, and it's important that it's sturdy. If you can, secure it against something or put it near a table or window ledge (a good idea, maybe, to draw the curtains while you're there), which he can grab onto to keep things steady. Once that's set up, you stand on the chair facing away from him, then get in a squatting position with your hands on the back of the chair for support. He puts his hands on your waist or clasps the top of your thighs and penetrates gently. It may help if he puts one leg on the chair to keep it steady while leaving the other on the floor. As I said, keep it s-l-o-w. Move your bottom from side to side for a unique, intense sensation.
Top To Bottom sex position If you like your body and enjoy being boss in bed, woman on top is perfect for you. You're in complete control of how fast and how deep he thrusts, and you're in a good position to kiss, touch and tease him, even tie him up. Don't attempt this next new position until you're ready for him to orgasm, because orgasm he will, rather rapidly. This position is extra stimulating for any guy who likes looking at your bottom (are there any who don't?) and for you if you like anal play. In fact, it puts him in the perfect position to gently insert a well-lubricated finger into your anus during intercourse (don't knock it till you've tried it) so you get the delicious sensation of being completely 'filled up.' Visually, for him, it's stunning. He gets a rarely afforded, intimate view of your bottom and genitals (you might think, gross! but he thinks, great!), and you'll like it because it feels primal and erotic knowing he's looking at a very private area. You'll need a chair for this position as well, and it's best if it's sturdy with no arms. He sits on it in the usual manner, while you go on all fours on the floor in front of him, facing away from him. He then pulls you toward him and lifts your legs up to wrap them around his waist. You're supporting yourself on your hands as he penetrates. With his hands on your buttocks, he moves you back and forth to thrust rather than moving his own pelvis (he's not being lazy, he just can't move much). The 'top to bottom' looks extremely impressive but it's actually dead easy to do. You have to have reasonable arm strength, but that shouldn't be a problem because you regularly lift weights at the gym, right? Now there's an incentive!
The Sideways Swoon sex position I always think of side-entry sex as Sunday-morning sex; lazy, relaxed and (literally) laid-back. After all, you really can only do this one lying down. If you're in the mood for a romantic, leisurely, but no less erotic, encounter, this is the one for you. It's also ideal if you're pregnant. While it lacks the urgency or deep penetration of other positions, side-entry sex features on most couples' 'favourite' list simply because the starting position, spooning, is how lots of couples tend to sleep. And if you're going to bed or waking up a little, well, horny, it seems like the most natural thing in the world to take advantage of; with his bits against your bottom, which is so close to other inviting parts and... gosh! How did that happen? In this side-entry variant, you both lie on your sides and get into the classic 'spoon' position. He enters from behind to assume the traditional side-entry sex position. You then bring your knees up to your chest, altering both the penetration and angle of entry and adding an erotic edge. He moulds himself into you, and you both end up in an almost fetal position. You can alter the mood a bit by trying a different leg position. Lie on your side, but instead of having your legs straight, lift one up toward the ceiling (like the leg lifts you do at the gym: one leg on the floor, the other high in the air). He enters, keeping his legs between yours, which are parted as wide as you can. As he's thrusting, he's (how handy!) in the best position to reach around with his hand and stimulate your clitoris.
Location, Location, Location The bed may be comfy and convenient, but there are tons of other options: The stairs make up for height differences. If you're shorter, stand on the step above, and previously impossible positions are suddenly workable. Stairs also make oral sex a touch easier. The shower is great for standing positions, and we all know why those detachable shower hoses were really invented! A chair is the most versatile sex prop of all. Choose a sturdy one without arms and you can stand on it, sit on it or both lean on it. Placed near the bed, it's great support for dangling limbs or to support someone's head. The bath is brilliant for foreplay and great for rear-entry sex. It's a solid, smooth surface that is ideal for you to bend over. A table also works for rear entry, and just about everything else. Lean against it, lie on it or both hop on board and do it on top!
Digging Deep sex position We're most familiar with man-on-top positions. They're great for gazing lustily into each other's eyes. And as an added bonus, they're terrific for deep penetration. For fans of deep, intense penetration and enthusiastic thrusting, you can't beat this position. With this variation, the top half of your body can't move much, but you can make up for it by moving your pelvis both up and down and side to side. First, lie back on the bed with your torso and bottom on the bed and your legs resting on the floor. When he penetrates, you bend your knees back toward your stomach while he supports himself on his hands and thrusts forward. It's best for him to keep one of his legs on the floor for support and the other on the bed for balance. If it still doesn't feel like he's penetrated deeply enough - you greedy girl - pull your knees even further back and rest your calves on his shoulders, or, heck, show off by demonstrating just how handy that Pilates class really was by crossing your ankles behind his neck. Add extra frisson by holding your own hands above your head to give the illusion you're tied up. Better still, get him to actually do it!
The Sex Squat sex positionn Urgent, animal and aggressive, rear-entry positions are used by most couples when they're both massively turned on. He can thrust more powerfully here than in any other position, and while some women flinch at the thought (Ouch! You just hit my cervix!), most are huge fans. Because you can't see each other, it's great for fantasising (being unfaithful is obviously much better in your head than actually in your bed). And although it looks energetic, you can respond as little or as much as you like. Up the lust level by doing it in front of a mirror, or vary it by alternating between leaning forward on your forearms and sitting up straight, leaning back and letting him kiss your neck. For my new twist on that old favourite, you'll need a chair, and it's important that it's sturdy. If you can, secure it against something or put it near a table or window ledge (a good idea, maybe, to draw the curtains while you're there), which he can grab onto to keep things steady. Once that's set up, you stand on the chair facing away from him, then get in a squatting position with your hands on the back of the chair for support. He puts his hands on your waist or clasps the top of your thighs and penetrates gently. It may help if he puts one leg on the chair to keep it steady while leaving the other on the floor. As I said, keep it s-l-o-w. Move your bottom from side to side for a unique, intense sensation.
Top To Bottom sex position If you like your body and enjoy being boss in bed, woman on top is perfect for you. You're in complete control of how fast and how deep he thrusts, and you're in a good position to kiss, touch and tease him, even tie him up. Don't attempt this next new position until you're ready for him to orgasm, because orgasm he will, rather rapidly. This position is extra stimulating for any guy who likes looking at your bottom (are there any who don't?) and for you if you like anal play. In fact, it puts him in the perfect position to gently insert a well-lubricated finger into your anus during intercourse (don't knock it till you've tried it) so you get the delicious sensation of being completely 'filled up.' Visually, for him, it's stunning. He gets a rarely afforded, intimate view of your bottom and genitals (you might think, gross! but he thinks, great!), and you'll like it because it feels primal and erotic knowing he's looking at a very private area. You'll need a chair for this position as well, and it's best if it's sturdy with no arms. He sits on it in the usual manner, while you go on all fours on the floor in front of him, facing away from him. He then pulls you toward him and lifts your legs up to wrap them around his waist. You're supporting yourself on your hands as he penetrates. With his hands on your buttocks, he moves you back and forth to thrust rather than moving his own pelvis (he's not being lazy, he just can't move much). The 'top to bottom' looks extremely impressive but it's actually dead easy to do. You have to have reasonable arm strength, but that shouldn't be a problem because you regularly lift weights at the gym, right? Now there's an incentive!
The Sideways Swoon sex position I always think of side-entry sex as Sunday-morning sex; lazy, relaxed and (literally) laid-back. After all, you really can only do this one lying down. If you're in the mood for a romantic, leisurely, but no less erotic, encounter, this is the one for you. It's also ideal if you're pregnant. While it lacks the urgency or deep penetration of other positions, side-entry sex features on most couples' 'favourite' list simply because the starting position, spooning, is how lots of couples tend to sleep. And if you're going to bed or waking up a little, well, horny, it seems like the most natural thing in the world to take advantage of; with his bits against your bottom, which is so close to other inviting parts and... gosh! How did that happen? In this side-entry variant, you both lie on your sides and get into the classic 'spoon' position. He enters from behind to assume the traditional side-entry sex position. You then bring your knees up to your chest, altering both the penetration and angle of entry and adding an erotic edge. He moulds himself into you, and you both end up in an almost fetal position. You can alter the mood a bit by trying a different leg position. Lie on your side, but instead of having your legs straight, lift one up toward the ceiling (like the leg lifts you do at the gym: one leg on the floor, the other high in the air). He enters, keeping his legs between yours, which are parted as wide as you can. As he's thrusting, he's (how handy!) in the best position to reach around with his hand and stimulate your clitoris.
Location, Location, Location The bed may be comfy and convenient, but there are tons of other options: The stairs make up for height differences. If you're shorter, stand on the step above, and previously impossible positions are suddenly workable. Stairs also make oral sex a touch easier. The shower is great for standing positions, and we all know why those detachable shower hoses were really invented! A chair is the most versatile sex prop of all. Choose a sturdy one without arms and you can stand on it, sit on it or both lean on it. Placed near the bed, it's great support for dangling limbs or to support someone's head. The bath is brilliant for foreplay and great for rear-entry sex. It's a solid, smooth surface that is ideal for you to bend over. A table also works for rear entry, and just about everything else. Lean against it, lie on it or both hop on board and do it on top!
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