How often do you go down on your partner before intercourse? And intercourse aside, how often do you engage in oral sex just for the sake of... oral sex? If the numbers are low, I have to say: you and are your partner are missing out. I mean, I know. It can be near-impossible to resist diving in to sexy-time penis first. But an intense session of cunnilingus can definitely add something to your intimate life that neither of you are getting from the same old in-and-out.
So what's the big deal? For one thing, giving her oral sex can be a great form of foreplay. Your partner may not have mentioned this to you, but women typically not ready for intercourse after just one arm caress and a boob grope. They often would prefer a warming-up period in order to become physically and psychologically aroused, which in turn makes it easier for them to experience pain-free sex, and perhaps even reach orgasm(s).
But oral sex doesn't even have to be used as foreplay. For a really intense sexual experience, try making cunnilingus the main event. In many cases, women orgasm more reliably from cunnilingus than they do from intercourse. But you have do it right. Giving her oral sex is not as simple as merely thrusting your tongue into her vagina and making it do the wiggle. Nay. Mind-blowing oral sex requires some actual... technique. Mark Coriddi, author of The Mount Method: a Guide to Pleasuring Women, suggests first establishing a "mount." Nope. Not a "dismount" (though cunnilingus does require a bit of oral gymnastics).
Achieving a mount means that your mouth and her pubic area come together in such a way as to maximize the pleasure she experiences during your mouthy ministrations. Both men and women have a mount. According to Coriddi, a man's mount is the area of his upper lip just above his teeth. A woman's mount, meanwhile, is the center of the pubic bone, where there is a slight cradle into which your mount naturally fits. "Connecting your respective mounts and maintaining that persistent connection throughout the process of arousal is essential to mind-blowing oral sex," says Coriddi. "Specifically, it allows you to firmly place your mouth just where it needs to be for maximum stimulation of your partner’s clitoris." To make all of this easier, consider placing a pillow or two beneath her pelvis. It will make her hot spots easier to access. Once you're properly positioned, there are a number of things you can do in order to rock her world.
First, warm her up by caressing her inner thighs, breathing naturally so she can feel your breath on her clitoris, and on the other areas of her vulva. This will help build up anticipation, making her squirm for more as you prepare to really impress her. Then, once you’re ready, begin licking her like an ice cream cone, in long, thick strokes that cover the entire area down there. Let your licks gradually build up in intensity before plunging in fully. Once you’ve reached a certain rhythm, try mixing things up (though you should remain mindful of how she's responding to your touch; if she's finding a specific rhythm or touch particularly pleasurable, she may never forgive you if you suddenly change course).
Friday, December 14, 2012
10 Reasons To Love Small Boobs
I like boobs. Who does not appreciate them? Robots. Reptiles. That’s about it. Breasts are awesome. As feminist writer Gail Collins said in her New York Times piece, “Everybody likes breasts — infants, adults, women, men. Really, it’s America’s most popular body part.” But sometimes it seems like we only get to talk about how awesome certain kinds of boobs are. The ones that are bold, perfectly round, Sports Illustrated-style, belonging to Christina Hendricks, full, plush, generous, prominent, and just generally big.
1. They are cute. They just are. They look friendly and happy and sweet.
2. You can wear something really low-cut. I don’t dare, because I am scared of things no one should be scared of and also freakishly modest. But in theory, you can. And you probably should, if you have small boobs. Just to do it.
3. You don’t look “slutty,” necessarily. Sluttiness is a dumb concept. No one should be thought slutty at all, because it’s just dumb. And certainly no one should be thought slutty based on the basic shape of her body. But it happens. When my large-breasted friends walk down the street in a parka and plaid overalls and clumpy work boots, they get uninvited attention of a sexual nature, because of their breasts. I know, because all of my large-breasted friends wear that outfit, all the time. But to my point: I wear that same thing, and I get no attention at all. Which is nice. And then I wear a scandalously sexy, skin-tight outfit, and I also get no attention! I’m kidding. What I mean to say is, people say, “Oh, that looks nice! You’re so elegant.”
4. You can look elegant pretty easily. See above.
5. The nipples are showcased. And nipples are interesting. I don’t want to say much more about nipples, because it makes me feel awkward and inappropriate. But I think they’re pretty. OK, that’s it.
6. You can sometimes go braless. I went through a phase, last summer, where I did this, and it was incredibly fun and exhilarating. I felt free. I felt daring. I felt like yelling, “Hello, New York City! I’m not wearing a bra!!” But I didn’t, and then I felt like it was this sexy secret that everyone was probably whispering about. They definitely weren’t, but I talked about how empowered I was with my friends, a lot, and that was nice. After wearing a bra for approximately half my life, it was shocking to realize that actually, it was sort of optional. And then I got stuck in this freezing cold restaurant at a party for like four hours, and carried on a lot of charming little conversations with my arms crossed over my chest. So I’m not ready to give up on bras completely. But I still stand by my right to occasionally go boldly without.
7. You can wear a strapless dress without it being a big deal. I will do this, after I stop being really scared of what will happen if I lift my arms up. Which I need to do all the time– as we all do. My wedding gown was strapless. But that was more because all wedding gowns are strapless, and I had no choice. Still, it was empowering. I know I can do it again, some day, if I keep my arms down.
8. You can do yoga without even noticing them. I like not having to think about my breasts when they’re not playing an important role in whatever’s going on. Like if I’m jogging (which I almost never am, but it’s happened once or twice). Or if I’m playing a sport (ping pong), or if I need to be upside down at any point.
9. They don’t sag. I kinda don’t want to brag about the whole “they don’t sag!” thing, because it sounds more like an insult to big breasts and older women than a compliment to smaller ones and younger women. I’m also not sure I want to unquestioningly support firm perkiness. Last time I checked, breasts were made out of fat, and fat is squishy. And while I do have one friend with mysteriously perky natural boobs, and they are indeed spectacular, they are also the exception. And softness is really nice. Sagginess probably just means you’re older than 35, and some day I too hope to be older than 35. So instead of all that– how about #9 is “They feel good.” People don’t spend enough time talking about how nice small breasts feel. Sometimes I catch myself just feelin’ mine up. It’s sort of comforting. That is maybe the weirdest thing I’ve admitted to on the internet. They fit nicely in the hands. They are like little pillows of happiness.
10. Not to be sappy, but they do the really important stuff. They feel good when they’re played with. They have the ability to provide milk for a baby, which is bad ass. They’re womanly and pretty. They’re often charming in profile. And even though all of those things are true for big boobs, too, small boobs do it with their own special style. They do it while being awesome for all of the other nine reasons. They might be in a strapless dress while doing it. You never know. Small boobs are full of surprises.
1. They are cute. They just are. They look friendly and happy and sweet.
2. You can wear something really low-cut. I don’t dare, because I am scared of things no one should be scared of and also freakishly modest. But in theory, you can. And you probably should, if you have small boobs. Just to do it.
3. You don’t look “slutty,” necessarily. Sluttiness is a dumb concept. No one should be thought slutty at all, because it’s just dumb. And certainly no one should be thought slutty based on the basic shape of her body. But it happens. When my large-breasted friends walk down the street in a parka and plaid overalls and clumpy work boots, they get uninvited attention of a sexual nature, because of their breasts. I know, because all of my large-breasted friends wear that outfit, all the time. But to my point: I wear that same thing, and I get no attention at all. Which is nice. And then I wear a scandalously sexy, skin-tight outfit, and I also get no attention! I’m kidding. What I mean to say is, people say, “Oh, that looks nice! You’re so elegant.”
4. You can look elegant pretty easily. See above.
5. The nipples are showcased. And nipples are interesting. I don’t want to say much more about nipples, because it makes me feel awkward and inappropriate. But I think they’re pretty. OK, that’s it.
6. You can sometimes go braless. I went through a phase, last summer, where I did this, and it was incredibly fun and exhilarating. I felt free. I felt daring. I felt like yelling, “Hello, New York City! I’m not wearing a bra!!” But I didn’t, and then I felt like it was this sexy secret that everyone was probably whispering about. They definitely weren’t, but I talked about how empowered I was with my friends, a lot, and that was nice. After wearing a bra for approximately half my life, it was shocking to realize that actually, it was sort of optional. And then I got stuck in this freezing cold restaurant at a party for like four hours, and carried on a lot of charming little conversations with my arms crossed over my chest. So I’m not ready to give up on bras completely. But I still stand by my right to occasionally go boldly without.
7. You can wear a strapless dress without it being a big deal. I will do this, after I stop being really scared of what will happen if I lift my arms up. Which I need to do all the time– as we all do. My wedding gown was strapless. But that was more because all wedding gowns are strapless, and I had no choice. Still, it was empowering. I know I can do it again, some day, if I keep my arms down.
8. You can do yoga without even noticing them. I like not having to think about my breasts when they’re not playing an important role in whatever’s going on. Like if I’m jogging (which I almost never am, but it’s happened once or twice). Or if I’m playing a sport (ping pong), or if I need to be upside down at any point.
9. They don’t sag. I kinda don’t want to brag about the whole “they don’t sag!” thing, because it sounds more like an insult to big breasts and older women than a compliment to smaller ones and younger women. I’m also not sure I want to unquestioningly support firm perkiness. Last time I checked, breasts were made out of fat, and fat is squishy. And while I do have one friend with mysteriously perky natural boobs, and they are indeed spectacular, they are also the exception. And softness is really nice. Sagginess probably just means you’re older than 35, and some day I too hope to be older than 35. So instead of all that– how about #9 is “They feel good.” People don’t spend enough time talking about how nice small breasts feel. Sometimes I catch myself just feelin’ mine up. It’s sort of comforting. That is maybe the weirdest thing I’ve admitted to on the internet. They fit nicely in the hands. They are like little pillows of happiness.
10. Not to be sappy, but they do the really important stuff. They feel good when they’re played with. They have the ability to provide milk for a baby, which is bad ass. They’re womanly and pretty. They’re often charming in profile. And even though all of those things are true for big boobs, too, small boobs do it with their own special style. They do it while being awesome for all of the other nine reasons. They might be in a strapless dress while doing it. You never know. Small boobs are full of surprises.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
For the Girls: How to have a full body orgasm
Orgasms are great. Obviously. But they can be short and far from the mind-blowing, knee buckling experience described in Fifty Shades of Grey. The elusive full body orgasm is achievable, but it takes practice and tons of pelvic floor muscle control, which can be hard in the heat of the moment. The key is to retain and expand your sexual tension by delaying your orgasm. Regular Kegel exercises using love eggs or Ana Steele's favorite jiggle balls will strengthen your pelvic muscles allowing you to perform stronger contractions - they key to more intense orgasms.
The next stage is to identify your point of no-return in the moment and then stop all stimulation when you reach this point. It's challenging because you probably won't want to stop! Repeat this stop-start method seven times, while focusing on deep breaths in and out. Over-sensitivity can become and issue, so ask your partner to alternate between your g-spot and clitoris or ignore those all together and work on your other erogenous zones during the seven cycles. On the final cycle imagine the sexual tension(or Tantric energy) circulating around your body. Some experts recommend imagining your orgasm as a color which is slowly filling up your body from toes to crown.
Finally, allow the tension to release and let your body orgasm. You may not be a Tantric master after your first time round, but some women have reported 20-30 minute orgasms using this method.
The next stage is to identify your point of no-return in the moment and then stop all stimulation when you reach this point. It's challenging because you probably won't want to stop! Repeat this stop-start method seven times, while focusing on deep breaths in and out. Over-sensitivity can become and issue, so ask your partner to alternate between your g-spot and clitoris or ignore those all together and work on your other erogenous zones during the seven cycles. On the final cycle imagine the sexual tension(or Tantric energy) circulating around your body. Some experts recommend imagining your orgasm as a color which is slowly filling up your body from toes to crown.
Finally, allow the tension to release and let your body orgasm. You may not be a Tantric master after your first time round, but some women have reported 20-30 minute orgasms using this method.
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