How often do you go down on your partner before intercourse? And intercourse aside, how often do you engage in oral sex just for the sake of... oral sex? If the numbers are low, I have to say: you and are your partner are missing out. I mean, I know. It can be near-impossible to resist diving in to sexy-time penis first. But an intense session of cunnilingus can definitely add something to your intimate life that neither of you are getting from the same old in-and-out.
So what's the big deal? For one thing, giving her oral sex can be a great form of foreplay. Your partner may not have mentioned this to you, but women typically not ready for intercourse after just one arm caress and a boob grope. They often would prefer a warming-up period in order to become physically and psychologically aroused, which in turn makes it easier for them to experience pain-free sex, and perhaps even reach orgasm(s).
But oral sex doesn't even have to be used as foreplay. For a really intense sexual experience, try making cunnilingus the main event. In many cases, women orgasm more reliably from cunnilingus than they do from intercourse. But you have do it right. Giving her oral sex is not as simple as merely thrusting your tongue into her vagina and making it do the wiggle. Nay. Mind-blowing oral sex requires some actual... technique. Mark Coriddi, author of The Mount Method: a Guide to Pleasuring Women, suggests first establishing a "mount." Nope. Not a "dismount" (though cunnilingus does require a bit of oral gymnastics).
Achieving a mount means that your mouth and her pubic area come together in such a way as to maximize the pleasure she experiences during your mouthy ministrations. Both men and women have a mount. According to Coriddi, a man's mount is the area of his upper lip just above his teeth. A woman's mount, meanwhile, is the center of the pubic bone, where there is a slight cradle into which your mount naturally fits. "Connecting your respective mounts and maintaining that persistent connection throughout the process of arousal is essential to mind-blowing oral sex," says Coriddi. "Specifically, it allows you to firmly place your mouth just where it needs to be for maximum stimulation of your partner’s clitoris." To make all of this easier, consider placing a pillow or two beneath her pelvis. It will make her hot spots easier to access. Once you're properly positioned, there are a number of things you can do in order to rock her world.
First, warm her up by caressing her inner thighs, breathing naturally so she can feel your breath on her clitoris, and on the other areas of her vulva. This will help build up anticipation, making her squirm for more as you prepare to really impress her. Then, once you’re ready, begin licking her like an ice cream cone, in long, thick strokes that cover the entire area down there. Let your licks gradually build up in intensity before plunging in fully. Once you’ve reached a certain rhythm, try mixing things up (though you should remain mindful of how she's responding to your touch; if she's finding a specific rhythm or touch particularly pleasurable, she may never forgive you if you suddenly change course).
Friday, December 14, 2012
10 Reasons To Love Small Boobs
I like boobs. Who does not appreciate them? Robots. Reptiles. That’s about it. Breasts are awesome. As feminist writer Gail Collins said in her New York Times piece, “Everybody likes breasts — infants, adults, women, men. Really, it’s America’s most popular body part.” But sometimes it seems like we only get to talk about how awesome certain kinds of boobs are. The ones that are bold, perfectly round, Sports Illustrated-style, belonging to Christina Hendricks, full, plush, generous, prominent, and just generally big.
1. They are cute. They just are. They look friendly and happy and sweet.
2. You can wear something really low-cut. I don’t dare, because I am scared of things no one should be scared of and also freakishly modest. But in theory, you can. And you probably should, if you have small boobs. Just to do it.
3. You don’t look “slutty,” necessarily. Sluttiness is a dumb concept. No one should be thought slutty at all, because it’s just dumb. And certainly no one should be thought slutty based on the basic shape of her body. But it happens. When my large-breasted friends walk down the street in a parka and plaid overalls and clumpy work boots, they get uninvited attention of a sexual nature, because of their breasts. I know, because all of my large-breasted friends wear that outfit, all the time. But to my point: I wear that same thing, and I get no attention at all. Which is nice. And then I wear a scandalously sexy, skin-tight outfit, and I also get no attention! I’m kidding. What I mean to say is, people say, “Oh, that looks nice! You’re so elegant.”
4. You can look elegant pretty easily. See above.
5. The nipples are showcased. And nipples are interesting. I don’t want to say much more about nipples, because it makes me feel awkward and inappropriate. But I think they’re pretty. OK, that’s it.
6. You can sometimes go braless. I went through a phase, last summer, where I did this, and it was incredibly fun and exhilarating. I felt free. I felt daring. I felt like yelling, “Hello, New York City! I’m not wearing a bra!!” But I didn’t, and then I felt like it was this sexy secret that everyone was probably whispering about. They definitely weren’t, but I talked about how empowered I was with my friends, a lot, and that was nice. After wearing a bra for approximately half my life, it was shocking to realize that actually, it was sort of optional. And then I got stuck in this freezing cold restaurant at a party for like four hours, and carried on a lot of charming little conversations with my arms crossed over my chest. So I’m not ready to give up on bras completely. But I still stand by my right to occasionally go boldly without.
7. You can wear a strapless dress without it being a big deal. I will do this, after I stop being really scared of what will happen if I lift my arms up. Which I need to do all the time– as we all do. My wedding gown was strapless. But that was more because all wedding gowns are strapless, and I had no choice. Still, it was empowering. I know I can do it again, some day, if I keep my arms down.
8. You can do yoga without even noticing them. I like not having to think about my breasts when they’re not playing an important role in whatever’s going on. Like if I’m jogging (which I almost never am, but it’s happened once or twice). Or if I’m playing a sport (ping pong), or if I need to be upside down at any point.
9. They don’t sag. I kinda don’t want to brag about the whole “they don’t sag!” thing, because it sounds more like an insult to big breasts and older women than a compliment to smaller ones and younger women. I’m also not sure I want to unquestioningly support firm perkiness. Last time I checked, breasts were made out of fat, and fat is squishy. And while I do have one friend with mysteriously perky natural boobs, and they are indeed spectacular, they are also the exception. And softness is really nice. Sagginess probably just means you’re older than 35, and some day I too hope to be older than 35. So instead of all that– how about #9 is “They feel good.” People don’t spend enough time talking about how nice small breasts feel. Sometimes I catch myself just feelin’ mine up. It’s sort of comforting. That is maybe the weirdest thing I’ve admitted to on the internet. They fit nicely in the hands. They are like little pillows of happiness.
10. Not to be sappy, but they do the really important stuff. They feel good when they’re played with. They have the ability to provide milk for a baby, which is bad ass. They’re womanly and pretty. They’re often charming in profile. And even though all of those things are true for big boobs, too, small boobs do it with their own special style. They do it while being awesome for all of the other nine reasons. They might be in a strapless dress while doing it. You never know. Small boobs are full of surprises.
1. They are cute. They just are. They look friendly and happy and sweet.
2. You can wear something really low-cut. I don’t dare, because I am scared of things no one should be scared of and also freakishly modest. But in theory, you can. And you probably should, if you have small boobs. Just to do it.
3. You don’t look “slutty,” necessarily. Sluttiness is a dumb concept. No one should be thought slutty at all, because it’s just dumb. And certainly no one should be thought slutty based on the basic shape of her body. But it happens. When my large-breasted friends walk down the street in a parka and plaid overalls and clumpy work boots, they get uninvited attention of a sexual nature, because of their breasts. I know, because all of my large-breasted friends wear that outfit, all the time. But to my point: I wear that same thing, and I get no attention at all. Which is nice. And then I wear a scandalously sexy, skin-tight outfit, and I also get no attention! I’m kidding. What I mean to say is, people say, “Oh, that looks nice! You’re so elegant.”
4. You can look elegant pretty easily. See above.
5. The nipples are showcased. And nipples are interesting. I don’t want to say much more about nipples, because it makes me feel awkward and inappropriate. But I think they’re pretty. OK, that’s it.
6. You can sometimes go braless. I went through a phase, last summer, where I did this, and it was incredibly fun and exhilarating. I felt free. I felt daring. I felt like yelling, “Hello, New York City! I’m not wearing a bra!!” But I didn’t, and then I felt like it was this sexy secret that everyone was probably whispering about. They definitely weren’t, but I talked about how empowered I was with my friends, a lot, and that was nice. After wearing a bra for approximately half my life, it was shocking to realize that actually, it was sort of optional. And then I got stuck in this freezing cold restaurant at a party for like four hours, and carried on a lot of charming little conversations with my arms crossed over my chest. So I’m not ready to give up on bras completely. But I still stand by my right to occasionally go boldly without.
7. You can wear a strapless dress without it being a big deal. I will do this, after I stop being really scared of what will happen if I lift my arms up. Which I need to do all the time– as we all do. My wedding gown was strapless. But that was more because all wedding gowns are strapless, and I had no choice. Still, it was empowering. I know I can do it again, some day, if I keep my arms down.
8. You can do yoga without even noticing them. I like not having to think about my breasts when they’re not playing an important role in whatever’s going on. Like if I’m jogging (which I almost never am, but it’s happened once or twice). Or if I’m playing a sport (ping pong), or if I need to be upside down at any point.
9. They don’t sag. I kinda don’t want to brag about the whole “they don’t sag!” thing, because it sounds more like an insult to big breasts and older women than a compliment to smaller ones and younger women. I’m also not sure I want to unquestioningly support firm perkiness. Last time I checked, breasts were made out of fat, and fat is squishy. And while I do have one friend with mysteriously perky natural boobs, and they are indeed spectacular, they are also the exception. And softness is really nice. Sagginess probably just means you’re older than 35, and some day I too hope to be older than 35. So instead of all that– how about #9 is “They feel good.” People don’t spend enough time talking about how nice small breasts feel. Sometimes I catch myself just feelin’ mine up. It’s sort of comforting. That is maybe the weirdest thing I’ve admitted to on the internet. They fit nicely in the hands. They are like little pillows of happiness.
10. Not to be sappy, but they do the really important stuff. They feel good when they’re played with. They have the ability to provide milk for a baby, which is bad ass. They’re womanly and pretty. They’re often charming in profile. And even though all of those things are true for big boobs, too, small boobs do it with their own special style. They do it while being awesome for all of the other nine reasons. They might be in a strapless dress while doing it. You never know. Small boobs are full of surprises.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
For the Girls: How to have a full body orgasm
Orgasms are great. Obviously. But they can be short and far from the mind-blowing, knee buckling experience described in Fifty Shades of Grey. The elusive full body orgasm is achievable, but it takes practice and tons of pelvic floor muscle control, which can be hard in the heat of the moment. The key is to retain and expand your sexual tension by delaying your orgasm. Regular Kegel exercises using love eggs or Ana Steele's favorite jiggle balls will strengthen your pelvic muscles allowing you to perform stronger contractions - they key to more intense orgasms.
The next stage is to identify your point of no-return in the moment and then stop all stimulation when you reach this point. It's challenging because you probably won't want to stop! Repeat this stop-start method seven times, while focusing on deep breaths in and out. Over-sensitivity can become and issue, so ask your partner to alternate between your g-spot and clitoris or ignore those all together and work on your other erogenous zones during the seven cycles. On the final cycle imagine the sexual tension(or Tantric energy) circulating around your body. Some experts recommend imagining your orgasm as a color which is slowly filling up your body from toes to crown.
Finally, allow the tension to release and let your body orgasm. You may not be a Tantric master after your first time round, but some women have reported 20-30 minute orgasms using this method.
The next stage is to identify your point of no-return in the moment and then stop all stimulation when you reach this point. It's challenging because you probably won't want to stop! Repeat this stop-start method seven times, while focusing on deep breaths in and out. Over-sensitivity can become and issue, so ask your partner to alternate between your g-spot and clitoris or ignore those all together and work on your other erogenous zones during the seven cycles. On the final cycle imagine the sexual tension(or Tantric energy) circulating around your body. Some experts recommend imagining your orgasm as a color which is slowly filling up your body from toes to crown.
Finally, allow the tension to release and let your body orgasm. You may not be a Tantric master after your first time round, but some women have reported 20-30 minute orgasms using this method.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
An Open Letter on Sex
At least in the United States, you have the right to be wanton, sexually provocative, and promiscuous. You have the right to wear as little clothing as legally allowed by the government where you live. Actually, I guess you can wear less clothing than legally allowed as you don’t mind dealing with the hassle of being arrested and having a record. You can have sex with men, women, people who identify as in-between or as neither. You can find consenting and enthusiastic partners for the most depraved erotic acts your brain or someone else’s can imagine. You might not have the legal right to engage in these acts according to the state or county you live in, but if everyone involved is a rational, consenting adult and you keep your metaphorical blinds closed you’ll probably be OK. I am not a lawyer and “you’ll probably be ok” does not in any way mean that I have any idea what I’m talking about when it comes to receiving blow jobs in Virginia. You have the right to communicate your desires in what is ideally a respectful manner and hope that the person(s) you’re attracted to share them.
Conversely, you don’t have to exercise any of those rights.
Neither the sex industry nor recreational promiscuity are for everyone. You can be friends with known pornographers and prostitutes without being one yourself. Being accepting of whatever safe, sane, and consensual acts people want to engage in with their bodies is awesome. You shouldn’t feel like you have to engage in the same acts as your friends or what you see on the internet to prove your solidarity or something.
Asexuality is definitely a thing. I don’t personally understand it, but if it makes you happy go for it. Or don’t go for it. Go for not-it? I’m going to remove my foot from my mouth now.
Liking sex doesn’t mean you have to be up for it 24/7, do it with thirty-five different people in a week, or walk around with the majority of your ass hanging out whenever the weather permits. I’ve had sex with plenty of women who don’t understand or care about my love for fancy lingerie and who find pajamas, jeans, and sneakers hotter than french lace and high heels.
If you only want sex every three months and you love doing it with the lights off missionary style, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There are potential partners who want the same, or who like it once every three months with the lights off doggy style and will be willing to take turns with your favored position and theirs.
If you fantasize about banging raccoons I’d be willing to bet there’s someone out there who wants to dress up like a raccoon and make whatever noises see plausible while getting banged. I recommend not banging actual raccoons because they are animals and can’t consent. Also: claws and potential rabies. (Cue the one person who believes in the rights of raccoons to consent to and enjoy sex with humans.)
If you want it filthy, rough, and hard three times a day for half the month and maybe once or twice a week while gazing into each others’ eyes for the other half, you can find one or more people willing to accommodate. I may be talking about myself here.
You’re highly unlikely to find any of these things until you figure out what you want and get comfortable with asking for it.
There’s nothing wrong with you if you aren’t that into sex. Communication is super important. For every “weird” thing you’re into, there’s someone else out there that’s into it too.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Office Sex
Many relationships begin in the workplace and sometimes it can be hard to keep your hands off each other but it’s important not to get caught so here are some tips to keep you from getting caught red handed.
Privacy
First and foremost, don’t be having sex in a place that attracts a lot of foot traffic. Go somewhere secluded, a storeroom that no one uses or a stairwell that’s mostly out of use. You can also have sex in your private office but make sure that you either have a lock on the door or it’s after office hours.
Avoid Cameras
It sounds stupidly obvious but avoid cameras like the plague. Most storerooms containing stock will usually have cameras in for security purposes so it’s best to check them out before you engage in any romps. It is illegal to place a camera in bathrooms or changing rooms so these are ideal, but they do attract foot traffic so wait until the office is quiet!
Easy Access
Clothing is a massive problem when trying to having a raunchy 15 minutes in work so wear accessible clothing. Nothing with too many buttons and something that will slip off easily, if you’re feeling really brave, going commando will save loads of time. Another great tip is for women to take their lipstick off so your man isn’t smothered in the stuff afterwards.
Clean up
Don’t just walk straight back to your desk after you’ve done the deed, go and check yourself out in the bathroom. Make sure you’ve put your clothes back on the right way round and that your hair is all in place. Top-up your make-up so that you look fresh faced rather than flustered and make sure you look neat and presentable.
Lastly…
If you do get caught, don’t make things worse by trying to explain yourself. Simply say you’re sorry and leave it at that. Trying to explain why you were in the bathroom with a fellow employee with your skirt over your head will only have you tripping over your words and making things worse for yourself, so keep it zipped!
Privacy
First and foremost, don’t be having sex in a place that attracts a lot of foot traffic. Go somewhere secluded, a storeroom that no one uses or a stairwell that’s mostly out of use. You can also have sex in your private office but make sure that you either have a lock on the door or it’s after office hours.
Avoid Cameras
It sounds stupidly obvious but avoid cameras like the plague. Most storerooms containing stock will usually have cameras in for security purposes so it’s best to check them out before you engage in any romps. It is illegal to place a camera in bathrooms or changing rooms so these are ideal, but they do attract foot traffic so wait until the office is quiet!
Easy Access
Clothing is a massive problem when trying to having a raunchy 15 minutes in work so wear accessible clothing. Nothing with too many buttons and something that will slip off easily, if you’re feeling really brave, going commando will save loads of time. Another great tip is for women to take their lipstick off so your man isn’t smothered in the stuff afterwards.
Clean up
Don’t just walk straight back to your desk after you’ve done the deed, go and check yourself out in the bathroom. Make sure you’ve put your clothes back on the right way round and that your hair is all in place. Top-up your make-up so that you look fresh faced rather than flustered and make sure you look neat and presentable.
Lastly…
If you do get caught, don’t make things worse by trying to explain yourself. Simply say you’re sorry and leave it at that. Trying to explain why you were in the bathroom with a fellow employee with your skirt over your head will only have you tripping over your words and making things worse for yourself, so keep it zipped!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
5 Ways To Discover Your Kinky Alter Ego
Kinky sex can be a great way to spice up a boring sex life, but just how do you get there? Check out these five tips to reveal your darker side.
Finding your kinky alter ego doesn’t have to be a difficult task. So many couples go through vanilla sex and don’t address it. If you and your girlfriend have had “the talk” about a bland sex life then you are a step ahead of the game. Sex is an important part of the relationship and it can be a very frustration endeavor to keep things spicy.
If you’re looking for a way to bring out the inner-freak, there are a few things that you can do. You don’t have to head out and get a latex suit or become a certified dom. You can find out what turns you on very quickly with minimal hassle and little effort.
1. Ask Her What Turns Her On
Most of the time a guy will simply get turned on by having a girl turned on. When women find themselves so hot that they can’t contain it anymore, guys are instantly in the mood. Most of the guys that you talk to will tell you the same thing. They are much more concerned with getting their girlfriend or wife off than actually getting off themselves. Take this into consideration when you are trying to spice up your bedroom activities.
2. Do You Get Embarrassed?
There are a lot of guys that are easily embarrassed when it comes to sex and sexual fantasies. Maybe you want your girlfriend dress up like a Catholic schoolgirl or maybe you want her to dominate you. These are both fairly common sexual fantasies. However, there are a lot of guys they get so embarrassed when they talk about their fantasies that they can’t actually act upon them. Talk to your partner in an open and honest, nonjudgmental way about what would really turn you on.
Try to come up with a way that you won’t get embarrassed halfway through and have her reassure you that you are not strange or weird because of your sexual fantasies. A girlfriend that is confident in her own sexuality and willing to play a part of your sexual fantasy will help the relationship immensely.
3. Watch Some Pornography
Say what you want about pornography, but it is one of the best tools to get men and women going. One of the easiest ways to use pornography is to help you discover what your sexual fantasies are. Whether you are into straight sex, domination, lesbian porn or all of the above, pornography can help you get there.
Take your girlfriend or wife to an adult store and search through the porno section. Decide on a movie that you will both enjoy and then take it home and watch it. Relationships are about compromise. If you are trying to find common ground in spicing up your sex life, deciding on a porno for the both of you is a great first step. If you can’t decide on one movie, find two or three and take them home for a whole weekend of fun and exploration.
4. Sex Toys
Sex toys can be a great way to find out exactly how kinky you are comfortable being. But if you get the wrong sex toys, you might put yourself and your partner in an awkward position. Have you ever had the fantasy of using a vibrator on a girl? How about a butt plug? Before you do any of this you’re going to need to talk to your partner.
It is her body that you’re going to be experimenting with after all. Sit her down and talk to her honestly. Tell her about how hot you think it will be and tell her that you believe it could bring the two of your closer in your sex life. You will probably be surprised on how open she will be to your honesty.
5. Be In The Moment
Most women love a guy that can be in the moment. If you have talked about getting more kink in your sex life, go ahead and do it. You girl is going to be much more open to things in the height of her arousal than talking about it afterward or before. If you want to try a new sex position, tell her in the middle of sex. Sometimes putting her in that position without asking can be a huge turn on for women. If she doesn’t feel comfortable with something, she will tell you. Don’t try something crazy on a whim, but you shouldn’t be afraid of trying something new on a whim.
Finding your kinky alter ego doesn’t have to be a difficult task. So many couples go through vanilla sex and don’t address it. If you and your girlfriend have had “the talk” about a bland sex life then you are a step ahead of the game. Sex is an important part of the relationship and it can be a very frustration endeavor to keep things spicy.
If you’re looking for a way to bring out the inner-freak, there are a few things that you can do. You don’t have to head out and get a latex suit or become a certified dom. You can find out what turns you on very quickly with minimal hassle and little effort.
1. Ask Her What Turns Her On
Most of the time a guy will simply get turned on by having a girl turned on. When women find themselves so hot that they can’t contain it anymore, guys are instantly in the mood. Most of the guys that you talk to will tell you the same thing. They are much more concerned with getting their girlfriend or wife off than actually getting off themselves. Take this into consideration when you are trying to spice up your bedroom activities.
2. Do You Get Embarrassed?
There are a lot of guys that are easily embarrassed when it comes to sex and sexual fantasies. Maybe you want your girlfriend dress up like a Catholic schoolgirl or maybe you want her to dominate you. These are both fairly common sexual fantasies. However, there are a lot of guys they get so embarrassed when they talk about their fantasies that they can’t actually act upon them. Talk to your partner in an open and honest, nonjudgmental way about what would really turn you on.
Try to come up with a way that you won’t get embarrassed halfway through and have her reassure you that you are not strange or weird because of your sexual fantasies. A girlfriend that is confident in her own sexuality and willing to play a part of your sexual fantasy will help the relationship immensely.
3. Watch Some Pornography
Say what you want about pornography, but it is one of the best tools to get men and women going. One of the easiest ways to use pornography is to help you discover what your sexual fantasies are. Whether you are into straight sex, domination, lesbian porn or all of the above, pornography can help you get there.
Take your girlfriend or wife to an adult store and search through the porno section. Decide on a movie that you will both enjoy and then take it home and watch it. Relationships are about compromise. If you are trying to find common ground in spicing up your sex life, deciding on a porno for the both of you is a great first step. If you can’t decide on one movie, find two or three and take them home for a whole weekend of fun and exploration.
4. Sex Toys
Sex toys can be a great way to find out exactly how kinky you are comfortable being. But if you get the wrong sex toys, you might put yourself and your partner in an awkward position. Have you ever had the fantasy of using a vibrator on a girl? How about a butt plug? Before you do any of this you’re going to need to talk to your partner.
It is her body that you’re going to be experimenting with after all. Sit her down and talk to her honestly. Tell her about how hot you think it will be and tell her that you believe it could bring the two of your closer in your sex life. You will probably be surprised on how open she will be to your honesty.
5. Be In The Moment
Most women love a guy that can be in the moment. If you have talked about getting more kink in your sex life, go ahead and do it. You girl is going to be much more open to things in the height of her arousal than talking about it afterward or before. If you want to try a new sex position, tell her in the middle of sex. Sometimes putting her in that position without asking can be a huge turn on for women. If she doesn’t feel comfortable with something, she will tell you. Don’t try something crazy on a whim, but you shouldn’t be afraid of trying something new on a whim.
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