Wednesday, May 21, 2014
27 things Men do in Bed that Women don't Like
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Monday, March 10, 2014
The Pleasures of Giving Oral Sex
Receiving oral sex is great for many reasons which need no explanation, but what about giving oral sex? Can a person find pleasure in performing an act which, on the surface, appears to be so one sided? Yes, of course. But perhaps it is not entirely for the altruistic reasons you suspect. Let me back up to get a running start at this.
You’ve Got A Lot Of Nerve
The head of a woman’s clitoris (just the visible part) is packed with 8000 sensory nerve endings (interestingly, that’s about twice the number in an entire penis) and, when it is stimulated, every one of those nerves sends signals to the brain in unison where they get processed by her Pleasure Center and activate a feedback loop which makes her desire more of the same (I’m not making this up). Blood flow increases to the area to keep the hard working nerve cells supplied with oxygen and energy so they can continue their rapid fire bombardment of her increasingly aroused brain. This goes on until the stimulation becomes overwhelming, areas of the brain in charge of reason and behavioral control flicker off, and voilà… orgasm.
While I am certain I just oversimplified a very complex physiology, it seems to me that the volume of [sensory] neural network traffic sent brainward is directly correlated with a person’s perception of physical pleasure. Like, the more nerve signals terminating in, and electrifying, the brain the greater the reward. In the example above, her nerve packed clitoris would be like an exposed electrical terminal on a heavy gauge cable run straight through her body and grounded in her head. It’s a powerful up-link directly to her Pleasure Center with the potential to light it up.
There are other parts of the body which are highly innervated as well and, interestingly, many are associated with sexual pleasure and/or arousal; lips, tongue, ear lobes, finger tips, nipples, anus, and genitals among others. Each one capable of pleasurable sensation on its own. Combine simultaneous stimulation of two or three and what happens? Greater pleasure. The more sensory stimulation in, the better the ride. Read that last sentence again and let it sink in.
Come To Your Senses
If you are a normal, healthy human you have five senses; touch, taste, smell, hearing, and vision. From the neck down you have only one of these… touch. Above that you have all five! On top of that neck of yours, you carry around a sensory powerhouse capable of processing the world around you with 500% more clarity than the rest of you. There is great variety in the sensory information your face can send to your brain. Can these senses produce pleasure? Of course! You enjoy the taste of many foods, smells that trigger memory or emotion, and lighting or visual cues which can calm or excite. Each floods the brain with stimulation and involving these senses directly in sexual play (getting your face right in there) can elicit feelings of pleasure.
Soak It All In
Additionally, your sinuses and mouth are lined with thin tissue permeable to hormones in your partners sexual juices and pheromones in their excited scent. These go straight to your blood and quickly find receptors capable of putting them to work affecting your state of mind. You are the chemistry of your body and sexual contact facilitates an intermingling capable of orchestrating incredible convergence of bodies and minds. If you’ve ever had really great sex then you are probably familiar with this synergy.
Not A Selfless Act
Personally, I get great pleasure from burying my face between Jane’s legs. Her obvious arousal is a real turn on but I am convinced there is more to it than just that. I taste, I smell, I see, my lips and tongue feel as I trace lines through her folds and kiss her sensitive clit. I drink her in, both figuratively and literally, I get drunk on her lust and satisfaction from her orgasm. It’s a sexual experience I crave like many others, I desire it because it brings me pleasure. It’s not selfless.
You’ve Got A Lot Of Nerve
The head of a woman’s clitoris (just the visible part) is packed with 8000 sensory nerve endings (interestingly, that’s about twice the number in an entire penis) and, when it is stimulated, every one of those nerves sends signals to the brain in unison where they get processed by her Pleasure Center and activate a feedback loop which makes her desire more of the same (I’m not making this up). Blood flow increases to the area to keep the hard working nerve cells supplied with oxygen and energy so they can continue their rapid fire bombardment of her increasingly aroused brain. This goes on until the stimulation becomes overwhelming, areas of the brain in charge of reason and behavioral control flicker off, and voilà… orgasm.
While I am certain I just oversimplified a very complex physiology, it seems to me that the volume of [sensory] neural network traffic sent brainward is directly correlated with a person’s perception of physical pleasure. Like, the more nerve signals terminating in, and electrifying, the brain the greater the reward. In the example above, her nerve packed clitoris would be like an exposed electrical terminal on a heavy gauge cable run straight through her body and grounded in her head. It’s a powerful up-link directly to her Pleasure Center with the potential to light it up.
There are other parts of the body which are highly innervated as well and, interestingly, many are associated with sexual pleasure and/or arousal; lips, tongue, ear lobes, finger tips, nipples, anus, and genitals among others. Each one capable of pleasurable sensation on its own. Combine simultaneous stimulation of two or three and what happens? Greater pleasure. The more sensory stimulation in, the better the ride. Read that last sentence again and let it sink in.
Come To Your Senses
If you are a normal, healthy human you have five senses; touch, taste, smell, hearing, and vision. From the neck down you have only one of these… touch. Above that you have all five! On top of that neck of yours, you carry around a sensory powerhouse capable of processing the world around you with 500% more clarity than the rest of you. There is great variety in the sensory information your face can send to your brain. Can these senses produce pleasure? Of course! You enjoy the taste of many foods, smells that trigger memory or emotion, and lighting or visual cues which can calm or excite. Each floods the brain with stimulation and involving these senses directly in sexual play (getting your face right in there) can elicit feelings of pleasure.
Soak It All In
Additionally, your sinuses and mouth are lined with thin tissue permeable to hormones in your partners sexual juices and pheromones in their excited scent. These go straight to your blood and quickly find receptors capable of putting them to work affecting your state of mind. You are the chemistry of your body and sexual contact facilitates an intermingling capable of orchestrating incredible convergence of bodies and minds. If you’ve ever had really great sex then you are probably familiar with this synergy.
Not A Selfless Act
Personally, I get great pleasure from burying my face between Jane’s legs. Her obvious arousal is a real turn on but I am convinced there is more to it than just that. I taste, I smell, I see, my lips and tongue feel as I trace lines through her folds and kiss her sensitive clit. I drink her in, both figuratively and literally, I get drunk on her lust and satisfaction from her orgasm. It’s a sexual experience I crave like many others, I desire it because it brings me pleasure. It’s not selfless.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Three Modern Sex Myths You Shouldn't Believe
There are a lot of myths and ‘rules’ floating about out there – and an awful lot of the ones relating to sex are directed at women.
Quite frankly, most are false or misleading. Like the one that says....
MYTH 1: You should never sleep with someone from work
Two-thirds of us meet our life partners through friends or at work – why should you be any different?
Take refuge in the fact it’s not even your fault!
New studies show close proximity breeds lust. Repeated exposure to practically any stimulus makes us like it more (the only time it doesn’t hold true is when our initial reaction to something is negative).
When we spend a lot of time with someone, our brain releases attachment hormones, which make us want to hang around pretty much permanently.
This actually isn’t a bad thing.
Couples who meet through work have a much clearer idea of what they’re getting themselves into.
After all, you’ve seen your partner react to all sorts of stressful situations during your average working day.
As for employer’s fears, most are unfounded: what better way to get employees to turn up early, stay late, look fantastic, willingly sign up for all extra curricular activities and generally beam their way through the working day?
And even if the affair ends, most flirtations fizzle out with remarkably unspectacular endings, as opposed to the fury of resignations or ruined relations people worry about.
MYTH 2: You should always tell the truth about your past
Around the time you both start getting gooey about each other, questions start being asked: ‘So… who else have you lived with/been out with/been in love with?’.
If you read the subtitles they clearly say ‘How many have you slept with?’
This is a danger zone for both sexes but particularly for women.
Even if you’ve managed to hook up with the world’s most liberated man, few can resist a knee-jerk reaction to an answer of ten or over, mainly because they haven’t thought it through.
So is it any wonder you found yourself muttering, ‘three’, and are now panicking about being caught out.
Here's why you shouldn’t feel bad about not really having had three.
A typical 30-year-old attractive woman has usually been sexually active since 16, had two long-term monogamous relationships each lasting around four years, clocked up two short-term relationships per year the rest of the time and had the odd casual fling.
That’s around 20 partners, by my estimate, or 25-30 if you’re dealing with a high libido or increased opportunity.
What he's really asking when he asks the ‘How many?’ question is ‘How special am I? Do you behave like this with everyone?’.
If he’s serious about you, he’s actually far more interested in what’s happened to your heart than your parts, so won’t be obsessed with doing the maths.
If he does start doing sums and you are discovered, appeal to his sense of logic.
Confronted with the above breakdown and other facts (like the number of lovers for both men and women is roughly the same these days, although because of the double standard men consistently report three times more) most men will see reason.
MYTH 3: You should never have sex on a first date
For 20somethings, this is an archaic question.
For over 30s, it’s still something that’s hotly contested.
I can list at least four couples without even blinking (let alone thinking) who had sex on the first date and are still happily together five to ten years later.
If you’re old enough, wise enough and have pretty decent people reading skills, who’s to say you can’t sum someone up during an average five hour date, at least enough to know they’re worth taking a risk on.
Sometimes you just know and some first dates can be so good, they backfire if you stop the flow.
Then there’s the pertinent question of what constitutes a first date?
If you’ve been friends for a while and then finally go out, are you on date one or date ten?
I know I’m being slightly contradictory because I do generally advocate waiting as long as possible, but there are always exceptions.
Quite frankly, most are false or misleading. Like the one that says....
MYTH 1: You should never sleep with someone from work
Two-thirds of us meet our life partners through friends or at work – why should you be any different?
Take refuge in the fact it’s not even your fault!
New studies show close proximity breeds lust. Repeated exposure to practically any stimulus makes us like it more (the only time it doesn’t hold true is when our initial reaction to something is negative).
When we spend a lot of time with someone, our brain releases attachment hormones, which make us want to hang around pretty much permanently.
This actually isn’t a bad thing.
Couples who meet through work have a much clearer idea of what they’re getting themselves into.
After all, you’ve seen your partner react to all sorts of stressful situations during your average working day.
As for employer’s fears, most are unfounded: what better way to get employees to turn up early, stay late, look fantastic, willingly sign up for all extra curricular activities and generally beam their way through the working day?
And even if the affair ends, most flirtations fizzle out with remarkably unspectacular endings, as opposed to the fury of resignations or ruined relations people worry about.
MYTH 2: You should always tell the truth about your past
Around the time you both start getting gooey about each other, questions start being asked: ‘So… who else have you lived with/been out with/been in love with?’.
If you read the subtitles they clearly say ‘How many have you slept with?’
This is a danger zone for both sexes but particularly for women.
Even if you’ve managed to hook up with the world’s most liberated man, few can resist a knee-jerk reaction to an answer of ten or over, mainly because they haven’t thought it through.
So is it any wonder you found yourself muttering, ‘three’, and are now panicking about being caught out.
Here's why you shouldn’t feel bad about not really having had three.
A typical 30-year-old attractive woman has usually been sexually active since 16, had two long-term monogamous relationships each lasting around four years, clocked up two short-term relationships per year the rest of the time and had the odd casual fling.
That’s around 20 partners, by my estimate, or 25-30 if you’re dealing with a high libido or increased opportunity.
What he's really asking when he asks the ‘How many?’ question is ‘How special am I? Do you behave like this with everyone?’.
If he’s serious about you, he’s actually far more interested in what’s happened to your heart than your parts, so won’t be obsessed with doing the maths.
If he does start doing sums and you are discovered, appeal to his sense of logic.
Confronted with the above breakdown and other facts (like the number of lovers for both men and women is roughly the same these days, although because of the double standard men consistently report three times more) most men will see reason.
MYTH 3: You should never have sex on a first date
For 20somethings, this is an archaic question.
For over 30s, it’s still something that’s hotly contested.
I can list at least four couples without even blinking (let alone thinking) who had sex on the first date and are still happily together five to ten years later.
If you’re old enough, wise enough and have pretty decent people reading skills, who’s to say you can’t sum someone up during an average five hour date, at least enough to know they’re worth taking a risk on.
Sometimes you just know and some first dates can be so good, they backfire if you stop the flow.
Then there’s the pertinent question of what constitutes a first date?
If you’ve been friends for a while and then finally go out, are you on date one or date ten?
I know I’m being slightly contradictory because I do generally advocate waiting as long as possible, but there are always exceptions.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Sex Will Make You Smarter
Recent research straight from the lab demonstrates that sexual activity in adults may improve mental performance and help produce new neurons in the hippocampus, which is the part of the brain where long-term memories are formed. So much for doing crossword puzzles and sudoku! A separate study found that sex can counteract the kind of chronic stress that screws with the ability to remember things. (The first study was conducted on “middle-aged rats” and the second on mice. I wonder how midlife crises manifest themselves in middle-aged rats?!)
Of course, this may not be enough evidence to convert all those crossword and sudoku addicts to midlife sexual activity, so we thought we’d expand the news into a own nifty five-part list. Here are our Top 5 Reasons Why Sex Makes You Smarter:
1. Sex Helps You Grow New Brain Cells
If we were having more sex, we might be better equipped to explain this to you, but as we said above, in middle-aged rates, sex improves mental performance and long-term memory.
2. Sex Reduces Stress… Which Makes Your Memory Work Better
“Stress is one of the most potent inhibitors of hippocampal neurogenesis,” the scientists say, and we nod seriously and pretend to totally understand this. What we do understand is that sex can help fix this!
3. Sex Releases Endorphins…. Which Makes You Smarter
Endorphins are the “feel good” chemical — it acts as a natural painkiller, lessens anxiety (see #2, above), and helps you sleep better. All of which helps your brain, Einstein. More specifically, endorphins have been found to help calm and focus the brain.
4. Energetic Sex Boosts Circulation and Blood Flow… to the Brain
Energetic sex is a form of exercise, which boosts the blood flow to your brain… which makes it work better. Studies have found that both attention and focus improve for several hours after exercise — so hop on top, Pop!
5. Sex Builds Emotional Intelligence
Sex — or, at least, good sex — requires tuning into another person so completely that you know as much as they do (if not more!) about what turns them on. That’s a kind of focus we could all use more of, whether at home or work.
Of course, this may not be enough evidence to convert all those crossword and sudoku addicts to midlife sexual activity, so we thought we’d expand the news into a own nifty five-part list. Here are our Top 5 Reasons Why Sex Makes You Smarter:
1. Sex Helps You Grow New Brain Cells
If we were having more sex, we might be better equipped to explain this to you, but as we said above, in middle-aged rates, sex improves mental performance and long-term memory.
2. Sex Reduces Stress… Which Makes Your Memory Work Better
“Stress is one of the most potent inhibitors of hippocampal neurogenesis,” the scientists say, and we nod seriously and pretend to totally understand this. What we do understand is that sex can help fix this!
3. Sex Releases Endorphins…. Which Makes You Smarter
Endorphins are the “feel good” chemical — it acts as a natural painkiller, lessens anxiety (see #2, above), and helps you sleep better. All of which helps your brain, Einstein. More specifically, endorphins have been found to help calm and focus the brain.
4. Energetic Sex Boosts Circulation and Blood Flow… to the Brain
Energetic sex is a form of exercise, which boosts the blood flow to your brain… which makes it work better. Studies have found that both attention and focus improve for several hours after exercise — so hop on top, Pop!
5. Sex Builds Emotional Intelligence
Sex — or, at least, good sex — requires tuning into another person so completely that you know as much as they do (if not more!) about what turns them on. That’s a kind of focus we could all use more of, whether at home or work.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Cock Rings
Cock rings have many qualities that many men will enjoy :
1.When the penis is flaccid, cock rings act like a spacer. They distance the cock and balls from the rest of the body and, as a result, bring the whole package forward. Worn under clothing, cock rings thus help in shaping a flattering bulge in pants.
2.The weight of the cock ring (at least for heavier ones) tug on the genitals, emphasizing the owner’s perception of size and heft of their genitals. The weight also increases the man’s perception of his erection.
3. A correctly sized cock ring slightly squeezes the base of the shaft when the penis is erect, impeding the blood flow out of the penis. Consequently, the cock ring helps in fostering an erection that is maximally hard with the best girth possible.
4.As a part of the ejaculation process, the testicles need to be lifted and be pressed against the body. Since they impede on the rising of the testicles, cock rings help to delay ejaculation in part.
5.For men whose inguinal canals are too large (allowing the testicles to slip (at least in part) into these canals, the cock ring acts as a stopper to prevent the testes from entering this inguinal canal, thus avoiding painful ejaculations or some post orgasmic pains.
6.Cock rings are also useful for men with erectile dysfunction or those who tend to loose their erection too quickly, as a correctly sized ring will press on the veins of the penis and help maintain the erection.
There are various models of cock rings. Apart from the metal rings shown in the various example above, there are also rubber or silicone rings, as well as snap open/close rings. The later are the safest as they can be removed at any time.
True rings (like the metal examples above) can only be inserted or removed when the penis is flaccid. This can be a problem if the ring proves to be too small when full erection is achieved, creating a health hazard. (For metal cock rings, the soft penis must be inserted first, then the balls, one after the other. Same for rubber rings, generally. As for leather rings, they are usually held closed with a snap.)
Finally, it should be noted that, because they impede blood flow in part, cock rings should not be worn all day. They should be removed at least for the night to allow for a healthy blood flow (oxygenation and repair of tissues). And that is especially true for closed rings.
1.When the penis is flaccid, cock rings act like a spacer. They distance the cock and balls from the rest of the body and, as a result, bring the whole package forward. Worn under clothing, cock rings thus help in shaping a flattering bulge in pants.
2.The weight of the cock ring (at least for heavier ones) tug on the genitals, emphasizing the owner’s perception of size and heft of their genitals. The weight also increases the man’s perception of his erection.
3. A correctly sized cock ring slightly squeezes the base of the shaft when the penis is erect, impeding the blood flow out of the penis. Consequently, the cock ring helps in fostering an erection that is maximally hard with the best girth possible.
4.As a part of the ejaculation process, the testicles need to be lifted and be pressed against the body. Since they impede on the rising of the testicles, cock rings help to delay ejaculation in part.
5.For men whose inguinal canals are too large (allowing the testicles to slip (at least in part) into these canals, the cock ring acts as a stopper to prevent the testes from entering this inguinal canal, thus avoiding painful ejaculations or some post orgasmic pains.
6.Cock rings are also useful for men with erectile dysfunction or those who tend to loose their erection too quickly, as a correctly sized ring will press on the veins of the penis and help maintain the erection.
There are various models of cock rings. Apart from the metal rings shown in the various example above, there are also rubber or silicone rings, as well as snap open/close rings. The later are the safest as they can be removed at any time.
True rings (like the metal examples above) can only be inserted or removed when the penis is flaccid. This can be a problem if the ring proves to be too small when full erection is achieved, creating a health hazard. (For metal cock rings, the soft penis must be inserted first, then the balls, one after the other. Same for rubber rings, generally. As for leather rings, they are usually held closed with a snap.)
Finally, it should be noted that, because they impede blood flow in part, cock rings should not be worn all day. They should be removed at least for the night to allow for a healthy blood flow (oxygenation and repair of tissues). And that is especially true for closed rings.
Monday, December 9, 2013
New Sex Rule: The 7-Minute Limit On Blowjobs
Here ye, here ye! We, the women of The Frisky, hereby decree that blowjobs should last no longer than seven minutes. Why seven minutes you ask? Men, let us do you a favor and explain why.
The initial enthusiasm to give a blowjob starts to die around the 5-minute mark. Slobbing the knob is hard fucking work. Your lady is concentrating on sheathing her teeth, generating spit, sucking, working her tongue, bobbing her head at the right rhythm all while trying to interpret what will make you come faster. (Note: We didn’t say harder.) Did his dick just flex? Was that a moan? To play with the balls, or not to play with the balls?
After seven minutes, severe boredom starts to set in. Our minds start to wander. We begin to create unrelated to do lists. Do I have milk? After he’s done, I really should do laundry. Ooh, is a new episode of “Scandal” on tonight? What’s Mellie gonna do next?! The list-making comes to an end pretty quickly though, as lip, neck, and jaw ache starts to set in. Not fun. We would like to invite all men to work a cucumber for 10 minutes and see how it feels.
After the 10-minute mark, annoyance starts to set in. Guys, seriously, if she keeps changing up her technique, she isn’t teasing you. She doesn’t want to prolong the process, trust. She was forced to use her hands from fear of dislocating her jaw. At this point, she’s probably staring up at you in anger wondering if you masturbated all day and that’s why you’re taking so long.
Men, don’t interpret this the wrong way. We don’t tell you this to put the pressure on. For everyone’s sake don’t stress out. (Most people can’t come under stress.) We share this information to assist you. We appreciate the time you spend reciprocating oral and are sure you have your own list of woes. But if blowjobs only lasted a seven minutes, more women would enjoy giving them and men would receive them at a higher frequency.
Men, do yourself a favor, come faster or, after seven minutes, smile down at her and tell her you want to fuck. We bet you 9 out of 10 times she gratefully replies yes.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Day Off, Clothes Off, Game On
When you ditch work for the sole purpose of getting laid it can make for awkward next-day conversation at the water cooler. “So, what did you do yesterday?”, they always ask. “I shot a hot load of cum deep into my wife’s ass”, I’d like to say before taking another sip of water and watching their eyes react.
Actually, that would only tell part of the story… and it’s not really fair to cut out the true context of Sue’s and my day off together. We’re a couple months into an upswing, enjoying a closeness and fondness for each other that goes missing sometimes. Long term relationships can be like that, going through cycles where the intimacy gap waxes and wanes in a slow rhythm beneath the melody of lives intertwined. Sometimes Sue’s love is so strong that she even looks past my mixed metaphors.
Our day to day responsibilities leave little room for spontaneity so we try to push the clutter aside and plan quality (i.e. sexy) time together. She took the kids to school while I lit a fire, dusted off the massage table, and warmed up the coconut oil. The anticipation hardwired into such prep work is enough to make a soft man hard.
I spent the next hour hungrily touching every inch of her; every muscle, every freckle, every fold. We were in constant intimate contact in peaceful surroundings, our world of other obligations melted and evaporated into nothing. It was just us. Together and in love like the day we married, naked and in tune with each others’ every breath. Massage is a wonderful gift of sharing and we recommend it highly.
We showered together, I helped her soap the excess oil from places hard to reach and places fun to touch. We dried our bodies, brushed our hair, got ourselves ready for the day… and then went back to bed. The details, which messed up our bed so badly, do not need to be mentioned but I will say Sue has talents only I really know about. Wowza!
Back at the water cooler… I want to explain that Sue’s ass was completely irresistible because she surprised me with a jeweled butt plug much like this one. She ordered it, received it, and inserted it without my catching on. I discovered it peeking out between her cheeks like she was Queen of the Assholes. I kneeled, I kissed, and then I took the Queen’s precious jewel and fucked her real good.
I’d love to imagine what goes through my co-workers jealous little heads when I leave for a week.
Actually, that would only tell part of the story… and it’s not really fair to cut out the true context of Sue’s and my day off together. We’re a couple months into an upswing, enjoying a closeness and fondness for each other that goes missing sometimes. Long term relationships can be like that, going through cycles where the intimacy gap waxes and wanes in a slow rhythm beneath the melody of lives intertwined. Sometimes Sue’s love is so strong that she even looks past my mixed metaphors.
Our day to day responsibilities leave little room for spontaneity so we try to push the clutter aside and plan quality (i.e. sexy) time together. She took the kids to school while I lit a fire, dusted off the massage table, and warmed up the coconut oil. The anticipation hardwired into such prep work is enough to make a soft man hard.
I spent the next hour hungrily touching every inch of her; every muscle, every freckle, every fold. We were in constant intimate contact in peaceful surroundings, our world of other obligations melted and evaporated into nothing. It was just us. Together and in love like the day we married, naked and in tune with each others’ every breath. Massage is a wonderful gift of sharing and we recommend it highly.
We showered together, I helped her soap the excess oil from places hard to reach and places fun to touch. We dried our bodies, brushed our hair, got ourselves ready for the day… and then went back to bed. The details, which messed up our bed so badly, do not need to be mentioned but I will say Sue has talents only I really know about. Wowza!
Back at the water cooler… I want to explain that Sue’s ass was completely irresistible because she surprised me with a jeweled butt plug much like this one. She ordered it, received it, and inserted it without my catching on. I discovered it peeking out between her cheeks like she was Queen of the Assholes. I kneeled, I kissed, and then I took the Queen’s precious jewel and fucked her real good.
I’d love to imagine what goes through my co-workers jealous little heads when I leave for a week.
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