5 Things You Didn't Know About Masturbation

Although men may joke and tease each other about their solo sexual activity, women are typically less forthcoming about their own self-pleasuring. With a very close friend, some may compare notes discretely about the best vibrators or the stress relief going solo can provide.

But women's masturbation is not generally a common topic of conversation among girlfriends. Maybe it should be, say sex therapists. They point out that women's masturbation can have benefits both for health and relationships. Here are five things about masturbation women may not know:

1. "Normal" masturbation in women takes many forms.

Most women, like men, have masturbated at least once in their lives, research suggests. Frequency varies, and there's no "normal" for that. There's no ''normal" cutoff age, either, with the practice continuing into the 80s and beyond.

Women may feel guilty about it, especially if they are in a committed relationship, but there’s no need for guilt, sex therapists say. Sometimes a partner is tired, out of town, or otherwise unavailable. And it doesn't mean a woman needs to go without.

There is no one "method" of masturbation in women that's normal.

Fingers and vibrators are two common methods of women's masturbation. More than half of 2,056 women, aged 18 to 60, used a vibrator either during masturbation or intercourse, says Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, Bloomington, who led the survey.

Other women who masturbate report they use the back of a vibrating toothbrush head, the handle of a hairbrush, or water jets in the bathtub, Joannides says.

Although some experts worry about side effects from vibrator use, such as genital numbness or pain, less than 30% of the women in Herbenick's vibrator survey said they had experienced them.


2. Masturbation can improve your mood -- without the ''obligations'' of partnered sex.

However a woman chooses to masturbate, it can improve her spirits. It can improve a depressed mood. Not clinical depression, but the 'blue funk' days.

With solo sex, there is no distraction, and you can focus on your own experience without making sure someone else is having a good time.

It doesn't mean you don't love your partner, maybe just that you need to think only about yourself sometimes, experts say.

3. Masturbation can improve your sex life with your partner.

Women who masturbate on a regular basis learn what feels good for them. It helps build sexual confidence and it helps you guide the partner when you have a partner.

You can say, for instance: "Please put your hand here," and not be embarrassed.

Women who use a vibrator during masturbation tend to have better sexual functioning with a partner, Herbenick says.

Sex therapists typically recommend masturbation for women who have a difficult time reaching orgasm. It can help them learn about their body and feel less self-conscious.

4. Masturbation can help you relax.

Women are more apt than men to over-analyze a bad day and think: "How could I have done this better?" They are more likely than men, some researchers have found, to replay an argument or bad interaction with people in their head. It all adds up to excess stress.

Researchers call this rumination, and it has been linked in numerous studies to depression.

5. Masturbation can provide pain relief.

Women who masturbate often report that it helps relieve menstrual cramps and to improve the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS), such as irritability and crankiness.

Masturbating to orgasm may help migraines, too. Although orgasm has sometimes been found to trigger a migraine headache, it may also relieve it, according to some research. Scientists speculate that some factor associated with orgasm (by yourself or with a partner) may suppress pain or actually suppress the migraine process.